Are We There Yet?

Are we there yet?

If you’ve traveled with kids, I’m almost sure you’ve heard this question resonating from the back seat! No family vacation would be complete without your kids asking this question at least five or six times! Kids just don’t understand or comprehend that sometimes, it takes awhile to get where you’re going. You can’t just snap your fingers or wiggle your nose and magically be at your destination.

I have found this question isn’t just exclusive to kids.  I have lost count of how many times I have asked this very question.

Are we there yet, Jesus?

We live in a fast paced world. We want faster cars, faster internet, faster results, and even faster food. If we send a text message and a reply isn’t returned within 10 seconds, we’re either sending another text or calling, all the while thinking the worst. It seems we want it all right now and have no patience if now doesn’t happen fast enough.

There have been times in my life I’ve been guilty of wanting God to be the same way. I’ve actually made my plans, asked Him to bless them, then basically told Him to get on board with my agenda. I know that sounds crazy but, if we’re honest with ourselves, we all do it. We may not verbalize it but God knows. He sees the intent of our heart. He knows what we’re going to think before we think it. We want to get over the heartache and the pain now. But God has His own time table. He holds eternity in His almighty hands. He has a perfect plan for our lives and He knows just the exact time it needs to happen.

“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven…” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV

I ask You, my Jesus, to forgive my frustration. My impatience; my short sightedness. My inability to see Your precious hand in the middle of my chaos; in the middle of this mess that is going on inside my heart. I am so weak. I only see with human eyes sometimes and not the bigger picture You have planned and should feel in my heart.

Sometimes the day to day trials and struggles really weigh on me. And it feels as if evil is winning and that I am all alone in my struggle to process this season. And yet, I know I am not. Your amazing word is full of promises that are in there just for me. But sometimes, I forget that You expect action on my part as well.

“You will keep in perfect peace whose mind is fixed on You.” (Isaiah 26:3)

I realize my mind hasn’t been fixed so much on You lately as it’s been on my circumstances. This promise comes with a choice. My choice to keep my mind fixed (focused) on You. Forgive me for not making the right choice.

From this moment, Jesus, I surrender this season to You…yet again. I may have to do it again until we are on the other side of this pain but I know You are with me each step I take. Even when You have to carry me…like now.

Thank You for how You love me! Approve of me and call me Your own.

I love how God loves me! Even when I’m whining like a little child! He knows just how to speak to my heart to get my attention and let me know that He’s always there. Whether it’s to bring me a word of comfort or a word of discipline.

Are we there yet, Jesus?

“My precious Jenny,

You don’t understand. Sometimes, it takes awhile to get where we’re going”.

—————————————-

The above was originally written on August 4, 2019; 2 years and 11 months ago.

I’m not really sure why I didn’t publish it at that time. I don’t remember the exact reason. My only guess is I didn’t feel led to. Whatever His reasoning at the time, I trust that now is right.

Perhaps He had more to teach me before He allowed me to share it with you.

We aren’t privy to the reasons why God wants us to wait for His timing nor do we know the plans He has for our lives. He alone knows them. (Jeremiah 29:11) We sense the direction He wants us to go and, in faith, we step out and trust Him for the next step.

Well, that’s the goal anyway.

If we’re being honest with ourselves, most of us want to take control and run ahead of God and try to fix things in our own way. I’ll be the first one to raise my hand and say that I am guilty of that very thing. I have tried to control people and situations and have utterly failed at fixing anything. In fact, more often than not, I made more of a mess than had I let God take the lead. And, what’s worse? I always end up in the exact same place I started.

I learned some hard lessons that way but I love how God’s word always points me back in the right direction. The truth written on its pages makes me see how I need to let God be in control and that I obediently follow.

His word is life and breath to me.

But it hasn’t always been this way.

The children of Israel wandered around in the wilderness for 40 years because they were too impatient to wait on God’s timing. They wanted to be in control and live according to their own agenda.

Having grown up in church, I was blessed to always have a copy of God’s word at my fingertips. I have heard the story about the children of Israel being enslaved in Egypt and the miraculous crossing of the Red Sea many times over. As a child and well into my adult years, I could never understand why they acted in the ways they did. There were many times I’d think to myself, “I would’ve never been that foolish. After all they witnessed in Egypt, with plague after plague, and how they saw God part the waters of a mighty sea so they could walk across on dry land, how could they ever doubt Him again? I wouldn’t have had any problem trusting His provision.” 

Oh, yes. I was that arrogant. And that stupid. I was completely blind.

After I surrendered my life to Jesus, it became quite clear how messed up my thinking was. I am just like the children of Israel. Admitting I didn’t have all the answers and wanted God’s agenda and needed His direction for my life, set me free. And His precious word became my road map…for everything!

When God removed me from my former spouse, after years of abuse, I was completely broken. I didn’t understand why God would remove me from him and why He allowed my marriage to end in betrayal and divorce. I kept waiting for Him to heal my marriage and bring my wandering spouse back to me.

He did not.

For two years, I begged God to stop the pain and bring him back. Even though I knew my former spouse would not return, I kept telling myself he couldn’t possibly love that other woman. After all, he was mine before he hooked up with her. We had years of history. They didn’t. She didn’t know him like I did. On and on and on I would go. But did God allow him to return?

He did not.

When God set the children of Israel free after 430 years of slavery in Egypt, they were more than ready to go. They had prayed and prayed for God to rescue them from the suffering and intense pain they experienced at the hand of their abusers. After God sent the plagues that ravished the Egyptians, Pharaoh finally relented and let them go. God had answered their prayers and set them free but it didn’t take long for the Israelites to start complaining about the conditions of the wilderness. On several occasions, they whined and complained to Moses and told him they wanted to go back to Egypt. Apparently, the hot desert sun and wandering around in the sand caused them to completely forget how they were treated while enslaved there. They reminisced with each other and talked of all the “comforts” they had.

“And the whole congregation of the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron in the wilderness, and the people of Israel said to them, “Would that we had died by the hand of the Lord in the land of Egypt, when we sat by the meat pots and ate bread to the full, for you have brought us out into this wilderness to kill this whole assembly with hunger.” 

~ Genesis 16:2&3 ESV

After my divorce, like they, I did some whining and complaining during my own journey through the wilderness.  I was just like the Israelites in that I wanted the life I had always known to be my reality again. Even though I knew, while in that life, I was resented, ridiculed, ignored, cheated on, unloved, and cried myself to sleep nearly every night. But after spending some time on my own, I got very lonely and longed for the familiar. I missed him. Somehow my mind had forgotten the bad in our marriage and only remembered the good times. The grief was so intense, I thought it would consume me. A constant ache that tormented my very soul. I just wanted God to make it stop.

 

Are we there yet, Jesus?

“My precious Jenny. You’re starting to understand. Sometimes, it takes awhile to get where we’re going”…

Yes, Jesus. It certainly does.