My kids and I have been on a healing journey for the past seven years. Divorce leaves many things in its wake. Shock, grief, disbelief, pain, and betrayal to name a few. Writing has always been an outlet for my emotions and I have 22 journals full of such.
A few days ago, my son wrote down some of his own emotions as a way of working through the pain he’s experienced due to the events surrounding the divorce of his biological father and myself.
After I read it, I asked him if I could publish it here for others to read as it might be just the thing that someone else needs to hear. He agreed to let me share his heart on this open forum in hopes that it touches someone who might be going through the same thing he has.
My son doesn’t think he’s a writer but I thought this was so beautifully written, it needed to be shared. This is a beautiful example of what the power of surrender can do in ones heart if willing to take a step toward Jesus. He’s there and He’s waiting.
I pray the following words will bless you this day.
~ The Scarred Healer ~
Within the confines of your mind, picture a vast desert of endless, cascading sands that blanket every square inch. No water, no relief, just unimaginable heat and dry air. There are zero signs of any life, not even a cactus or lizard. As you skirt the landscape amidst the sky, as if you were a bird in flight, you see a shape begin to form in the distance.
At first, you think that you have finally spotted some kind of vegetation, some sign of life in this wasteland, but as you come closer to the mysterious object, you begin to see that it seems distinctly human. You notice that the shape you saw from far off is, in fact, a man. He is knelt on his knees, arms wrapped around his form as if he is trying with all his might to keep something hidden from view. He is completely exposed to the elements with no clothes on his back. You begin to feel compassion for this enigmatic figure, yet you find yourself unable to interact with him at all. You notice that the man is completely covered in scars from his head to the bottoms of his legs.
Startling you out of your stupor, the man begins to cry softly to himself, almost sounding not like an adult man, but a small, scared child. You feel like your heart is being torn apart by the sorrow you can feel in the man’s gentle sobs, but you hold it together. Amidst the cries, you can faintly hear the man speak for the first time since you found him. You can just barely hear him say, “I can’t take this anymore. Why did I have to be hurt? What did I do to him to deserve this?” The man pauses briefly, then you hear him continue, “Was it something I did wrong? Was I not good enough? Was I not strong or smart enough?” As if it took every ounce of strength left within him, you hear him say, “I’m done with running away. I’m so tired. Please, even though I don’t deserve it and ran away, will you take me back?” You start to say something, then, suddenly, there is a blinding flash of light that is so bright, you think that you’ll go blind. As your vision comes back to you, you see another man, standing in front of the scarred man.
He is radiant beyond belief, as if the light itself is bowing before Him, and He also has scars, one in each wrist and in both of His feet. The Man who is more than a man kneels in front of the scarred man, who looks completely awestruck. Tears begin to stream down the scarred man’s face, as he stares into the face of this God-Man. He cries out with a loud voice, “I’m so sorry My Lord! I’m so sorry that I ran away from You! You, who had always been by my side! How could I do such a thing?”
The God-Man simply looked at him in the eyes and said, “My child, you were forgiven long ago. I have loved you since before you were formed in your mother’s womb and I will always love you, no matter what you do.”
The Radiant One then took a large, white linen sheet and wrapped it around the scarred man, saying, “By My sacrifice you have been made clean. By My stripes you have been healed. Come and follow Me.”
As He said these things, He wiped the tears from the scarred man’s eyes and offered out His own scarred hand. The scarred man immediately took the scarred hand of the God-Man, but they did not start walking away just yet. The God-Man turned around, looking at you, reader, saying, “I laid my life down as a ransom for you as well. Come and follow Me.”
Now, with tears streaming from your own face, you take the God-Man by His other scarred hand, and follow Him.
This God-Man has a name. His name is Jesus, and He gave EVERYTHING so that we may be healed.
I don’t know where you’re at in life, what you believe, or the pain that you have suffered, but if there is anything that you get out of this story, it’s that Jesus is very real, and He wants to heal you of all that pain.
As Jesus Himself stated, “I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. I am the Good Shepherd. The Good Shepherd lays down his life for the sheep” (John 10:10).
In case you didn’t catch it, I, Jeremiah Blankenship, am the scarred man in the story. I won’t go into all the details of my past, but I will let you know that I have suffered from sexual, emotional, verbal, and mental abuse from my father since I was a child. I am currently 31 years old.
In 2017, my parents got divorced due to my dad having an affair alongside leading a completely separate life with another family that we did not know about.
In response to this, I ran away from my Lord, Jesus Christ. I was full of nothing but hatred, anger, and resentment toward not only my earthly father, but my Heavenly Father as well. I blamed God for letting all those terrible things happen to me, but the craziest thing is that by my dad leaving all of us, God was saving me from him.
Even in my wandering God was merciful, He still is, and always will be to me. I came crawling back to Him in 2021, when I had finally reached the end of my rope. I truly felt and understood the parable of the prodigal son. I had become that very prodigal whom I had always viewed as a fool.
The thing is, my God is so good, and is such an amazing Shepherd, that He not only found this lost sheep. He relentlessly pursued this dumb, foolish sheep! I came back to Him, with all my exposed scars, worries, pain, depression, and anxiety, and He clothed me in His Righteousness! He celebrated my return!
While my scars still hurt from time to time, I know that Jesus is healing me one step at a time. He never abandons me or forgets me. He is with me always, and I hope and pray that you will accept His gift and follow Him as well.
Praise He Who never turns His back on us or forsakes us!!!
He is Good!
He is merciful!
He is peace!
He is everlasting love!
He is my Jesus.
I am covered in scars, but He is too. I have been healed by His scarred hands, and you can as well, no matter how many or what kind they are.
He is the Scarred Healer.
My Jesus.
Jeremiah (JJ),
I am deeply touched by the words of your testimony as to the complete and all consuming love of your/our Savior, Jesus. This is beautifully written, yet I am so sorry for the pain and anguish you’ve suffered. No one deserves it. And you’re right that Jesus didn’t deserve it either. He took all of it on Himself voluntarily so that we wouldn’t be helpless and hopeless. Thank you for bravely sharing that painful scars are not the end of the story…rather, they are the beginning of all the healing that Jesus’ tender love and mercy has for all who choose to follow Him.