Encouragement

In Pursuit of HappyNess

1 Comment / Encouragement, Healing, Joy, Peace / /

I don’t make new years resolutions. I haven’t for quite a few years. The reason for it, in my estimation, is that resolutions don’t work. In years past, I would make resolutions, promises if you will, that went something like… “This is the year I’m going to lose weight! This is the year I’m going to exercise more! This is the year I’m going to take more time off from work! This is the year I’m going to take more time for me!” On and on and on. And what always, inevitably, happened is I’d fail to keep up the routine and I’d beat myself up for months after because I couldn’t stick to it. Best laid plans and all that. Now, don’t get me wrong. All of the goals I mentioned above are good ones. I do need to do all of those things. I realize that more and more as I continue to grow older. I do intend to incorporate them into my life whenever I can. However, I don’t want to be controlled by them. I spent many years being controlled by another. No matter what I did, it was never good enough. Even when I worked out every single day, for three hours at a time, and maintained a size 2 body by starving myself…it was never enough. Nothing I did was ever good enough, done long enough, or even wise enough. For the past few days, I’ve had a song going through my head. It’s one I used to sing years ago at our church in Alaska. In fact, it was so long ago I couldn’t even remember the title to it until I googled some of the words. When the Time Comes by David Kavich Cleanse me Lord, Of all my silly, sad charades How I want to be all and only Yours Take away the clutter in my life everyday And make me like a child at play Give me joy I love to laugh and cry with You You’ve become a Friend with me all the time Help me to be patient as I watch and as I pray Growing in Your love each day Lord, show me the way. Fill me, Lord I want Your love to overflow Running free through me to a lonely world Let me share that simple truth that sets people free How I want them all to see, how it can be. When the time comes, I wanna be ready When Jesus comes to take me Take me home. In and of themselves, making plans and having goals are not bad things, but if they become the only thing we’re focused on and/or allow them to consume our every waking moment, then we’ve clearly lost sight of what’s most important. During my marriage, I was completely obsessed with being, doing, and becoming every single thing my ex wanted me to be, do, and become. It got so bad that if I had a weak moment and had the audacity to eat a candy bar, I would stuff the wrapper inside a soda can and hide it in the garbage because I didn’t want him to find it. I didn’t want to be ridiculed or chastised over it. I tired not to let him see me eat anything that could be deemed unhealthy. It’s the only thing I focused all of my energy on. This was not just a goal I wanted to achieve eventually. This was an every single day goal that I felt had to be achieved every single day! I felt I had no other choice. I had to keep him happy to be accepted. I had to keep him happy to be loved. I had to keep him happy so he’d stay. A lot of good it all did. He left anyway. I believe that’s why this song has been trapped in my mind the past few days and I’m so thankful it has. Perhaps the Spirit brought these words to mind so I’d, once again, realize the importance of keeping Him first in my life. To know that whatever I do to try to keep another happy is in vain. Jesus is the only One who can satisfy and fill the deep longing in our hearts. To remember I’m a just a sinner saved by grace and that I need to be ever mindful of any sin that may creep in and immediately confess it when convicted by the Holy Spirit. To stay true to the desire of my heart to be an example of Jesus to all those I come into contact with and to all those who read the words I write. Knowing Jesus is the greatest and most amazing privilege of my life and I long for others to know Him as I do. Often times, life gets so busy and we get caught up with all the things we have to do or even be. The enemy loves nothing more than keeping us distracted by all the things we allow to clutter up our lives. His goal is to get us to take our eyes off of Jesus. He doesn’t care what it is. Even if the things in our lives are good for us. Even good things can become bad if given the wrong priority. I posted a new scripture on the website a few days ago. It’s from a devotion I read this week and it was exactly what I needed. “There are many who say, “Who will show us some good? Lift up the light of Your face upon us, O LORD!” You have put more joy in my heart than they have when their grain and wine abound. In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for You alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.” ~ Psalm 4:6-8 ESV Unfortunately, the world view is me, me, me, mine, mine, mine. In this passage of scripture above, King David is referring to those who

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Never Too Late

3 Comments / Encouragement, Healing, Hope / /

“Then the Lord answered me and said, ‘Write the vision and make it plain on tablets.’” ~ Habakkuk 2:2 I love a blank page: A new journal never written in; a new binder with crisp, white pages begging to be filled. For most of us, January feels like the time to begin something new. For me, it’s always the same; I long to fill the pages of my notebook from the pages of real life. It’s all well and good at this point; fun and games and pie in the sky dreams. Then reality hits. I’m the one who’s supposed to offer up the ink, to form the words, to weave the story that fills these pages with tales, and lessons learned from daily life. But without fail fear begins its nagging whispers, and panic hangs heavy, until it enshrouds me and I succumb to literary paralysis. I have fallen prey to this tactic of the enemy for many years. It became a stronghold long ago, and this isn’t the first resolve I’ve made to change my trajectory. I do, however, hope it’s my final resolve. Somehow, this year, this season of my life, seems more urgent and the call to obedience is absolutely non-negotiable. Is it because my age literally stares me in the face on a daily basis? If we’re given three-score and ten years of life on this earth, or four-score if we’re lucky, then I’m on my last “score”, and I’m acutely reminded that the dead cannot proclaim the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. The issue, aside from age, is disobedience. I’ve known since I was 12 years old I was to be a writer and share the love of God through my creativity with words. We don’t get to be “creative” with the Word of God, but if words are our area of art and giftedness, then we are to use this gift “as unto the Lord.” I am guilty of allowing fear to limit my efforts, and without that effort there are no results. Seeds of life planted, watered and nurtured by reflection and study are for the purpose of teaching others, lifting up our fellow man and communicating Jesus’ Gospel of love to the ends of the earth. But if we leave the ripened fruit (our gifts) unharvested, withering on the vine or rotting on the ground, never shared with the world or those in need, then what good is that? I don’t want to go to my grave, taking with me all I’ve learned, to be buried with me there. I want to share it now, today, in this life in the hopes that God will take my tiny offering and multiply it as only He can. Just as He did when He blessed the little boy’s lunch of fish and bread, or like He did with the widow’s two mites. They gave all they had, unreservedly. After three-score on this earth, I am ready to release my fears to the only One who can calm them, and get in line with the boy and his brown-bag lunch, and the poor widow with only two cents to her name, and trust Jesus to multiply my words for the sake of others who are hurting like me. I am curious about what I will write in this coming year, and wonder about where it will lead and what works it might accomplish. And while those musings are all well and good, it will continue to be for nothing if I don’t relinquish my fear daily, push up my sleeves and dig around in the dirt (water, prune and feed), so that in time a healthy harvest can nourish those in need, rather than going to waste in the fields of my own mind where no one benefits. It is my prayer that you will join me on this venture, walking with me on a road I’ve never really braved before, as we focus on the joy of togetherness for the journey, more than simply a final destination. “I will take my stand at my watchpost and station myself on the tower, and look out to see what He will say to me, and what I will answer concerning my complaint. And the LORD answered me: ‘Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.’ For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay.’” ~ Habakkuk 2:1-3

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Just Breathe

1 Comment / Encouragement, Hope / /

Ever After is my favorite movie. From the time I was a little girl, I dreamed about the man God would give me to spend the rest of my life with. I think all little girls do that at one time or another. I would put one of my mom’s sheer curtains on my head as a veil, pick some wildflowers for my bouquet, and pretend to walk down the aisle toward my handsome prince. I guess it’s just the romantic in me that is happy when she finally gets her handsome prince and her evil step-mother and step-sister finally get what they deserve and become servants in the palace. But it may go just a bit deeper for me. There is one line in particular that gets me every time. Danielle has just arrived at the Masked Ball and she whispers to herself, “Breathe. Just breathe.”  She is about to reveal to the Prince who she really is. She whispers these words to herself as a way to calm her anxiety as well as the overwhelming emotions that are surging through her. Well, as in any fairy tale, her plans are thwarted. Her step-mother tells the Prince she’s just a servant in her home and before Danielle can explain, the Prince rejects her in front of everybody. Not the way she pictured this scene in her mind, I am quite sure. In the years since giving my heart to Jesus, I have found myself uttering those same words, many times. However, in a slightly different format. The times I have prayerfully uttered these words seem to have one thing in common. They’ve been uttered from the depths of a wounded and fragile heart when I feel as if I just can’t take one more thing. When it feels as if the walls are closing in, the tears won’t cease, and I just can’t bear it anymore, somehow, the words find a way up from my soul, through my heart, and out through my lips. “Breathe on me, Holy Spirit. Just breathe.” Once this softly whispered prayer has been spoken, it’s as if heaven itself cannot hold Him back. It’s like He’s finally hearing the words He’s been longing to hear. I feel His comforting presence all around me and hear His gentle whisper in my ear. “I am here, child. You are safe in My arms. I have you. Do not be afraid. I am here. Forever.” I am stronger in moments such as this than at any other time in my life. It’s when He breathes over my life that I am strong. Here I am, at my weakest point and yet I feel strong, in Him. “But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:9a (ESV) “My power is made perfect in weakness.” Let your mind dwell on those words for a moment. It’s when we are at our weakest, He can fill us with His power. When we’ve exhausted and frustrated ourselves doing all we can to fix a situation only to find out it’s an impossible task, we finally call out to Him. And you know what? He’s always there. No matter how many times we’ve done it before. He is faithful to hear us and come when we call. I am sure on more than one occasion, His heart has cried out, “Why did you wait so long?”  He longs for us to call out to Him. He wants to be our constant help but He won’t force Himself into our lives. He wants us to choose Him and when we finally do, it thrills His heart. What about you? Is there a deep desire in your heart to immediately call on Him when faced with the challenges or hurtful events in this life? Danielle and her Prince Henry do eventually find their way back to each other. They do get married and they do live happily ever after. Ah, fairy tales! You gotta love ’em, right? They make us feel good for a few hours and it’s always a great movie when all ends well. It ends well for us, too, you know. Once upon some unknown time, Jesus WILL return to this earth to gather us up. He WILL take us home to live with Him forever. We WILL see all our loved ones who are there waiting for us. We WILL live happily ever after. Forever and always with our King of Kings and Lord of Lords. But, until then, when you feel like giving up, when you feel it’s not worth the fight, when it hurts to much to speak… Breathe. Just breathe.

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Something of Value

1 Comment / Encouragement, Healing, Hope, Peace, Renewal / /

He said I had no value.  “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?”   ~ Matthew 6:26 ESV What does it mean to value something or have values about something? I think it would depend on the object or objects in question. Wouldn’t you? I looked up both words: value/values. Each returned the same exact results. The word value(s) has several meanings. the monetary worth of something. a fair return or equivalent in goods, services, or money exchanged. relative worth or importance. the relative duration of a musical note. relative lightness or darkness of a color. However, let’s say you’re defining the value of another person in your life. What does it mean to value your spouse, your children, or a dear friend? I scrolled down a little further on the definition for both forms of the word and here’s what I found. something intrinsically valuable or desirable. to rate or scale in usefulness, importance, or general worth. So, to value someone means to see their usefulness, importance, worth, or something to be desired. Seems easy enough. What if, for example, you were told by someone close to you, such as your spouse, your child, or a friend, that you had no value? That you weren’t useful to them or important, or held worth? I would think learning that would be pretty devastating. What if you overheard it from a conversation you shouldn’t have been privy to but couldn’t un-hear it once you heard the words spoken? How do you live with that? I would imagine it would be very difficult to recover from that. Especially if you didn’t want the other person to know you accidentally overheard their conversation, for fear of retribution. That would mean you’d have to pretend you didn’t know anything and you’d have to ensure you didn’t act any differently for fear of giving yourself away. You’d have to push your emotions down and not let them affect you. And yet, you’d have to continue to live day after day, week after week, month after month, and year after year knowing the true feelings of the other person. Sounds pretty convoluted, doesn’t it? It was. Welcome to just one of the many scenarios I endured while married to my ex. We were married just shy of 35 years and I dealt with situations like the one above, at least, two or three times a week. There was always drama. Whether it was work related or health related or even yard work related. There was always something. I constantly walked on egg shells. He probably didn’t notice it because I became very good at hiding my feelings from him and besides, who notices someone of no value. As a child, I always looked forward to Christmas. My daddy was a cabinet builder by trade and, even though he worked hard, money was always tight. We lived in a 742 square foot, two-bedroom house on 28th Avenue. My two sisters and I shared a bedroom. We were crowded but it never seemed to bother us. We were thankful for what we had. I’m sure we were considered poor folks but I never felt poor. Christmas was the one day out of the year we received toys. I believe I was around 7 years old when I unwrapped her. A sweet little baby doll, complete with a fuzzy pink blanket and a bottle. I was so happy when I saw her all tucked into her little box. Since I didn’t have anything to make a little bed out of, I used the box she came in. After all, she fit into it perfectly because it was made just for her. I named her Joy. I don’t recall now why I decided on that name. Probably because having her as my own brought me such great joy. I took her everywhere with me. I’m sure to others, she looked like an ordinary doll but to me, she was one of a kind. She was the only doll I had so Joy was something of great value. When I was in the fourth grade, my mom gave birth to my little brother. Having four kids in a two-bedroom house became much too crowded so we moved to Oregon to live next to my grandparents. My Pappy had bought a big tract of land and then each one of my mom’s siblings purchased what they wanted. My parents purchased a used single-wide mobile home and had it moved onto the Sager section of the parceled out land. There were two bedrooms in the trailer. My oldest sister got one of the rooms to herself and my younger sister and I shared. My dad removed the tilt out portion on the trailer then added on a big living room, a master bedroom, and a laundry room to expand the living space. It was the biggest home I’d ever lived in. I thought we’d won the lottery or something. I started fifth grade the next school year. We lived out in the country so we rode the bus to and from school every day. My grandma built a shed by the main road so we would have shelter in case it rained. It was the Pacific Northwest. Rain was a given. Every morning, my sisters and I would walk up the hill and wait beside the gravel country road for the big yellow bus to pull up. The bus route took about an hour to get around to all the houses where the country kids lived. I remember the Thompson kids always smelled like they needed baths and you always knew what the Kelly kids had eaten for breakfast. I guess it’s not a bad thing to get on the school bus smelling like bacon. Funny the things we remember from childhood, isn’t it? What I remember most about

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Heart Conditions

2 Comments / Comfort, Encouragement, Healing, Hope / /

I was born with a hole in my heart. Back in 1963, if you received news such as this about your newborn baby, it wasn’t followed with many hopeful words. My mom was told to take me home and enjoy what little time she might be blessed with. The doctor said I wouldn’t live to see my six-week check-up. Clearly, that doctor was wrong. Clearly, that doctor didn’t know the prayer warrior he was speaking with. Clearly, that doctor wasn’t privy to the plans God had for me. And, clearly, I’ve lived well beyond my six-week check- up. While the hole in my newborn heart was healed sometime within a six-week period,  between October and November of 1963, I’ve since met with another. Same heart. Different hole. While this one was not physical in nature, it certainly caused enough pain to convince me otherwise. Have you ever been at a place in your life and you didn’t understand how you even got there? Have you ever wondered the when, where, and why of a reckless and impulsive choice, made by another, that would change the entire trajectory of your life but, at the time, you didn’t know was en route? Have you ever felt as if you were stuck in limbo? Placed on hold or even felt as if your life had been postponed? If you have, you’re not alone. I’ve been there, too, and at times, feel I still am. God is Sovereign. That means He is the supreme Authority over my life. I am His child. He knew when my life would begin, He knows when it will end, and He knows every event that will happen in-between. He knows every choice I will make as well as the direct effect it will have on my life and on those around me. He also knows the choices others will make that will directly effect me. “You saw me before I was born.     Every day of my life was recorded in Your book. Every moment was laid out     before a single day had passed.” ~ Psalm 139:16 NLT Sometimes we find ourselves in the middle of heart-wrenching circumstances all because someone else decided their selfish desires should come before all else. Some grievous seasons are the direct result of another’s bad life choices. Mine began when my former spouse made the decision to take up with several other women, feeling completely justified in doing so. I felt I didn’t have any other choice but to give him what he wanted. It was either that or continue to live in a loveless marriage, while we led two separate lives. We had been doing that for several years and I was miserable and lonely. He wanted to live life on his own terms and not be accountable to anyone. I could not, would not accept that. So, I made the agonizing choice to let him go.  He had stopped loving me years before we got to this point. Not quite sure what he was waiting for. He was either waiting to get caught or waiting for the day I decided I’d had enough. My heart was completely shattered. I didn’t understand why any of it was happening but somehow found the presence of mind to know how vitally important it was for me to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus. I knew I’d never make it through without Him. I was in un-chartered territory and had no idea what I was going to do about anything. The only thing I did know for sure was that God would take care of me. I knew He would help me navigate through the heart-wrenching grief I could not wrap my mind around. “You go before me and follow me.     You place Your hand of blessing on my head.  Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,     too great for me to understand!” ~ Psalm 139:5&6 NLT God’s word says He takes what the enemy means for evil and uses it to bring good (Genesis 50:20). But I can tell you, with 100% transparency, when you’re in the middle of a heart-wrenching situation, it sure doesn’t feel as if anything remotely resembling good could possibly come from it! It causes unfathomable grief and sometimes, you just want to wallow in it and cry. I’ve been there, done that. More times than I can count. I have been divorced and on my own for three and a half years now. There have been so many times I just knew I had turned a corner or had taken a huge step towards healing and all of a sudden, something triggered a memory and it felt as if all the progress made to that point, took a few steps back. And, perhaps, unexpected memories have taken me a few steps back into the pain of the past, but when that happens, it makes me realize it’s all just part of the process. Healing takes time. Sometimes, a long time. However, I have noticed the pain isn’t quite as raw and doesn’t last nearly as long as it used to. That, in and of itself, gives me hope to keep pushing forward…even when the condition of my heart is crying out for mercy and wants to quit. Although, 2020 was a year filled with a lot of uncertainty, I felt happier and freer than I had in a very long time. In mid-March, my employer shut and locked the office doors and sent us all home, fully equipped with the capability to work remotely. I have to admit, I sure didn’t know how they expected us to process paperless loans but somehow, we managed. Even in the middle of being uprooted from my routine and having to learn a new way to do my job, I felt amazingly happy and very thankful to able to work from home so I could continue to have an income. Which was yet another reminder of God’s constant provision. As I look

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Surrendered Silence

1 Comment / Encouragement, Healing, Peace, Relationship / /

Have you ever looked up the definition to the word noise? I know. It’s an odd question. I imagine you’re probably wondering why I would ask such a random question and why in the world would you ever need to look up the meaning of a word that is somewhat self-explanatory. Everyone knows what noise is, right? However, I was curious to see how the dictionary defines it. I was also curious to learn what other words could possibly be used to describe a word that, pretty much, describes itself. So, I looked it up and, after once reading it, I knew I had found the one definition that had described the word perfectly. “Noise: incomprehensibility resulting from irrelevant information or meaningless facts or remarks”. Now, why the quest to know the dictionary meaning of this word? It wasn’t just to know a random bit of information nor was it because I was simply intrigued by it. I wanted to learn its definition because the enemy has been using it as a weapon in his arsenal against me. It’s what the enemy has had me focused on to consume my mind. And he was succeeding. He was filling my thoughts with irrelevant information and meaningless facts until I could no longer comprehend anything! And, worst of all, it had started to drown out the still, small voice of my Savior. Which is exactly what he wanted. Noise. Noise. Noise! When I joined the social media platform, Telegram, it was so I could keep up with the goings-on in the world but maintain distance from the main stream media, as I do not trust them nor do I believe one word of the news they report. I had joined several Telegram channels to follow, most of which reported news from a Godly perspective. There were others I followed just because they were sources I knew to be trust-worthy. Although these channels put out truthful information, after several days in a row of reading them over and over, all of it had become too much. I knew I had to delete several channels so as not to continue to overwhelm my mind. So, one morning, I did just that. My mind had become like that of a pin-ball machine. I was allowing it to be filled with so much information and so many different voices, I was pinging from one opinion to the next until it felt as if I were spinning. I’m sure the enemy was laughing at me because he most definitely had me caught up in a whirlwind of information that had just become noise. In and of itself, information is not a bad thing. We need to be informed of what is happening in our world but not so much that it becomes all consuming as it can easily become a weapon in the enemy’s hand. Later that same day, I was listening to His Glory Ministries on YouTube. They were discussing the importance of taking time each day to read God’s word and pray. And while I know having quiet time is basically “Christianity 101” for every day life as a Christ-follower, why is it spending dedicated time with Jesus is what takes the backseat? When I wake up, why is it once my feet touch the floor, life takes over and things start to take precedence over basking in my Savior’s presence? Realizing my choice was the only obstacle standing between me and my soul’s longing for time with my Savior, I chose to remove the obstacle. I chose Him. That night, I went to sleep with a divine appointment on my calendar. I had purposed in my heart that when I woke up, instead of my usual “Thank You for a new day” prayer, I was going to spend some one-on-one time with Jesus. What happened the next morning, was not on my calendar. I woke up before my alarm went off! That never happens! I think Jesus was just as excited as I was to start the day together!  I always pray throughout the day but I knew this time was going to be special. My heart felt eager and hungry. I wanted to hear from Him. My overwhelmed, restless heart and mind needed a word from the Word Himself! If you’ve followed this ministry for any length of time, you know I grew up in church. And, having done so, I recall hearing over and over, “Every good Christian starts their day with quiet time.” So, I did my best to be a good follower. I did my best to follow the plan. If that’s what I was supposed to do, I wanted to be sure to do it. But it always felt as if I’d been guilted into doing it. Like it was just something I had to do to prove myself. But who was I proving myself to? It’s probably why the myriad of quiet times I started over the years, ended just as quickly. But this time was different. I didn’t feel guilted into it and I wasn’t out to prove anything to anyone. There was no agenda on my part. Nope. This time was completely different. I have an old, broken down, comfy chair, with no legs, in the corner of my room that I’ve had for years. It’s the kind of chair you sink into when you sit down. It’s the kind of chair you want to curl up in on a cold, rainy day, with a cup of hot coffee while watching the rain drip slowly from the eaves of the house. It’s the kind of chair that somehow knows your secrets but would never betray you by telling them to anyone. It’s the kind of chair that captured many tears at the end of a very long day. It’s the kind of chair you crawl into while processing the excruciating pain of rejection, heartbreak, and a painful divorce you didn’t want. It’s the kind of chair you go to because you associate it

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A Different Direction

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope, Peace / /

Have you ever taken a detour? In December of 2019, my son and I were driving home from Destin, Florida after having spent Christmas there as a family. It’s a pretty long drive back to Alabama and when traffic comes to a complete halt, it’s easy to get frustrated and irritable sitting there, especially when you’re tired and just want to get home. After sitting still for what seemed like hours (I’m sure it had only been minutes), I noticed several cars passing to the right of me. I mentioned to my son those must be getting off the Interstate at the next exit to detour around what had brought us to a standstill. Having said that, I eased over into the right lane then proceeded to follow the rest of the cars to the next exit. My son was upset and wanted me to stay on the Interstate and just wait it out. However, I knew something he did not. I had programmed our home address into the GPS before leaving Florida. Even though we were back in Alabama and knew the way home from where we’d been stopped, I left it on just in case something like this happened. I had been in similar situations before and I knew the GPS would eventually re-route us back onto the right path to get us home. My son doesn’t like sudden changes from the known path and he very clearly voiced his fear with my choice of doing so. After listening to him protest for several minutes, I turned to him and said, “I understand your fear and know you don’t like last minute change but you’re going to have to trust me. I know what I’m doing and we’ll be okay. God will see us safely home.” Sudden or unexpected change can rock your world. If you’re a planner, you like your plan and know exactly how everything needs to go in order for that plan to work out. I know that to be true because I was the same way. I had a plan. Once. As a little girl, I used to play dress up in my mom’s clothes. Most of the time, I pretended to be a beautiful princess locked up in a castle, waiting for the handsome knight on a white horse to come rescue me. He would face the enemy holding me captive and once my foe was defeated, my handsome knight would come to the tower, sweep me up into his arms, and carry me away to live happily ever after. As I grew older, reality took the place of the knight and instead, I dreamed of a Christian man who just wanted to share life with me. One who cherished me. It’s all I ever wanted. I never dreamed of having a career or making lots of money. I only wanted to be married and have kids. That was my plan. Turns out, my plan for the long term didn’t exactly match God’s. His was quite different from mine. He was privy to details I knew nothing about. And, much like my son’s fearful protests about my detour off the Interstate, I spouted a few fearful protests when the life I’d known for three decades, suddenly took a detour of its own. But after listening to my protests, the Father whispered to me and said, “I understand your fear and know you don’t like last minute change but you’re going to have to trust Me. I know what I’m doing and you’ll be okay. I will see you safely home.” As I sit here reflecting back on the past three years, I’ve come to realize that what I thought was a sudden, last minute change, clearly was not. God had been preparing me, as well as covering me, for a very long time, even though I wasn’t aware of it. It seemed very sudden when it happened but, had I seen it from God’s perspective, I would’ve known He had been working on my behalf for years and everything had just fallen into place. When our lives detour from the path we thought we were on, it can be scary. Let’s face it. It can be earth shattering and sometimes, even heart-wrenching. When we realize the life plan we’d dreamed of and, perhaps even carefully thought out, suddenly ends, it’s difficult to come to terms with. Then the never-ending questions come and the heart-wrenching struggle to wrap your mind around what just happened, ensues. God created all of us with a free will to choose our own path in life. When you’re married, surely you believe the path you and your spouse are walking together will go in the same direction. But, unfortunately, that isn’t always the case. I do not believe God made me suffer the pain of infidelity and divorce. It was the end result of my former spouse’s life choices. I know God knew it would happen and He knew it would be a devastating loss in my life but I also know, He allowed it to happen because He loves me. Yes, you read that right. I didn’t understand it at the time but I see it all so clearly now. God is the Alpha and the Omega. He’s the beginning and the end. He sees the beginning and the end and everything that happens in between. He is Jehovah-El Roi, the God who sees. We never know what will be birthed from the situations and seasons that bring with them intense suffering, but that is when we have to keep our eyes on our Father and trust His heart. We must have faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” ~ Hebrews 11:1 ESV This means no matter what we can see with our physical eyes, we believe and know God is at work in the unknown and will keep His word and His promises. We either trust Him

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To Encourage You ~ Psalm 91

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope, Peace / /

I woke up this morning with Psalm 91 on my heart. Such beautiful words penned by David of how God is our Refuge and Fortress. When I think of a fortress, I picture a city or a town with a big wall built around it to keep those within, from being attacked by the enemy without. I’ve lived on several military installations over the years and built around every single one is a wall to keep those within safe from all who are not allowed to be there. That’s exactly what our God is to us as His children. He is our Fortress. He puts a wall of protection around us, if you will, and He is not susceptible to outside influence or disturbance! He is our Defender and Protector! We can run to Him and hide and He will faithfully shelter us. That brings such comfort to my heart this day! With all the evil being exposed in our country and around the world, I am comforted by the promise of Almighty God that He will shelter and protect us from harm. He is in control and He sees and knows all! He will not allow the wicked to go unpunished but He also has His own timing. His ways are not our ways nor are His thoughts our thoughts. (Isaiah 55:9) We have to trust Him. We must have faith. “Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 NASB “And without faith, it is impossible to please Him, for whoever would draw near to God must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who seek Him.” ~ Hebrews 11:6 NASB My prayer this day is that you’ll be encouraged and know that you know that you know Almighty God is in control. He is “our Refuge and our Strength; a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1 May these words from Psalm 91, bring you comfort and strength this day. “He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress; my God, in whom I trust.” For He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with His pinions, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness, nor the destruction that wastes at noonday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only look with your eyes and see the recompense of the wicked. Because you have made the Lord your dwelling place, the Most High who is my refuge, no evil shall be allowed to befall you, no plague come near your tent. For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone. You will tread on the lion and the adder, the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot. “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows My name. When he calls to Me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. With long life I will satisfy him and show him My salvation.” ~ Psalm 91 ESV

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“Keep Your Eyes on Me”

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope, Peace, Relationship / /

Have you ever allowed fear to control you? Fear is a very powerful emotion. It causes panic and impulsive decisions. It usually strikes when we least expect it and comes with a rush of adrenaline that makes us want to run for our lives. Ever experienced that? If you answered in the affirmative, you’re definitely not alone. I, too, can raise my hand in agreement. While fear is a very powerful emotion, it does not come from God. The words “fear not” are used 365 times in the Bible. Do you think it’s the desire of God’s heart that His children not live in fear? I would say it’s pretty obvious. 1 Kings 18 & 19, tell the story of Elijah, a mighty prophet of God, who allowed one woman’s threat to make him run in fear for his life. God had just used Elijah to slaughter 450 false prophets of Baal and 400 false prophets of Asherah by calling down fire from heaven. The King’s wife, Jezebel, was angry and vowed to kill Elijah as he had killed her false prophets. When this word reached Elijah, he allowed one thought from his enemy to control his next move. “Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness. He came to a broom bush, sat down under it, and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.” ~ 1 Kings 19:3-5 NIV Elijah was afraid, worn out, frustrated, and wanted to give up. He actually asked God to let him die right then and there. Ever been there? Have you ever been so tried of waiting or weary from grief, heartache, or bad news that you just wanted it to end? I know I have. Elijah was no different. He was every bit a human just like us. And he was weary. All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water. He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank. Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God. There he went into a cave and spent the night.” ~ 1 Kings 19:6-9 NIV Now, I’ve never been awakened from a nap by the touch of an angel, that I know of, nor has bread and water appeared on my nightstand (which is completely possible) but I understand and relate to Elijah’s feelings. I fought long and hard for my marriage. I spent countless hours on my knees in prayer for my former spouse and nothing ever changed. I went out of my way to do things to make him happy and, quite often, in ways that made me feel ashamed.  All of it a desperate attempt to make him love me. At one time, I had even convinced him to go to counseling, thinking it would heal whatever it was I couldn’t accomplish on my own. It was all in vain. He went to one session and quit. And yet, I continued to fight. I was so convinced there was something I hadn’t tried or some magic words I hadn’t said to win him back. It wasn’t until he looked me in the eye and said, “I’m not willing”, did I accept defeat. It was then I realized it didn’t matter what I had done or what I was doing, I couldn’t make him choose me. I was heartbroken, scared, frustrated, and voiced my disappointment to God, just as Elijah did. Why did I have to spend all those years fighting for a man and a marriage that was doomed from the beginning? What was the point? I was weary, exhausted, and wanted to lay down and die. Then God took me into the wilderness. The following conversation God had with Elijah, reminds me of a few God has had with me. And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.”  ~ 1 Kings 19:10-13 NIV  Often times, we expect God to do this huge, dramatic gesture in our lives because He’s God, right? Or we wait for Him to severely punish us for being weak or for questioning why something heart-wrenching happened to us, or for having a pity party. But God meets us right in the middle of where we are. And, I have found, He doesn’t ever shout. He comes in a whisper. Oh, how the quiet presence of my Father is accompanied by this amazing power to take possession of my heart all over again!  How many times have I expected God to chastise me over some impulsive decision I made out of fear or when I dared voice my discouragement to Him and yet, He completely captivates me,

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When He Whispers

2 Comments / Comfort, Encouragement, Harvest, Hope, Relationship / /

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and, no matter what you do to make it stop, it just plays over and over and over again? That happened to me today. However, this song was different. It was comforting to have it resounding over and over in my head. Perhaps, it was by design. A gentle reminder of where I belong and to Whom I belong. Albert Brumley wrote this song in 1936 so it may be a little out-dated and a little old-fashioned but it still carries so much truth and amazing comfort. And it’s still one of my very favorites. I had an appointment this morning and the only route there took me by a landmark that instantly reminds me of a few of my ex-husband’s life choices. I usually try to avert my eyes to avoid seeing it but, more often than not, the apprehension starts before I even get there. Just as it did this morning. As the landmark started creeping into view, this comforting song came to mind, as if from no where, and began crowding out the apprehension in my heart. The closer I got to the monument representing sorrowful memories of my past, the louder this anthem rang. It was then I realized it didn’t just come from no where. It was by design. Just as He always does, my Faithful and True had gone before me and prepared the way so as I reached the place where grief usually overwhelms me, glory took its place! This world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through, My treasures are laid up, Somewhere beyond the blue, The angels beckon me, From heaven’s open door, And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore. Who am I that the Eternal God of the Universe was already there, waiting, just to whisper this song over me, just to ensure I would drive over 50 yards of familiar pavement, without grief engulfing me? Such love I have never known in this life. It relentlessly pursues me. This unconditional, amazing, abundant love of Jesus. It overwhelms me. I am completely undone. Living in this world, we will experience situations that will hurt us. Sometimes, deeply. Whether the pain is caused by a choice of our own making, by the choice of someone else, or even something completely out of our control, in this world, we will have trouble. Jesus even warned us about it. His words are found in John 16:33. “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33 AMP I’ve driven by that landmark in the next town too many times to count and why God chose to whisper to me in that moment, confirmed several things. First and foremost, He very clearly wanted to remind me that this world is not my home and the painful situations that happen to me as I journey here, are temporal. This world belongs to the enemy of my soul, I am a stranger living here for just a brief moment in time, to do the work He’s called me to do, and, when that’s complete, He’ll call me home. I also know He’s preparing me for the next step in this journey and He doesn’t want my past overshadowing my future. He wants me to be courageous as I drive by that particular piece of real estate and know beyond doubt that what He cut from my life, He did because He loves me. He alone knew what would’ve happened had I stayed in that abusive marriage. He alone knew the plans for my future didn’t include a man who didn’t honor nor respect the woman He created me to be. He also knew, the heartache and grief experienced during that time, would be momentary and would not, could not, compare to what He has waiting for me. He whispered all of that into my heart with just seven short lines of a very old song that brought with them not only revelation, but peace and love beyond comprehension. However, that beautiful moment was not the first time God has whispered to me through music. He does it quite often. I’ve been blessed to have been part of quite a few church choirs and on several praise teams so there’s music written on my heart forever. But, I truly believe, the sweetest songs He brings to the forefront of my mind are the older ones I’ve stored away and have either forgotten or haven’t thought of in a very long time. Just like the precious one above. A few months ago, God reminded me of a song I had first sung, sometime back in 1988, at our church in Alaska. I recall the music minister had been encouraging me to be a soloist. I really didn’t think I had a solo-type voice. (I hadn’t sung by myself since 7th grade when, during a choir concert, my voice cracked right in the middle of a one line solo and all the boys on the back row laughed out loud at me. It was one of the most humiliating moments of junior high. From that moment on, I told myself I’d never sing another solo again. But God had different plans.) I told my music minister I would really pray about it and even went as far as to actually drive to the Jesus store (what my kids have always called the christian bookstore) and look for a song to start working on. Long story short, I not only sang that song, I became a regular on the “special music” rotation. All of that, to say this. It’s the songs I sang in church, all those years ago, when my kids were little, that God is giving back to me now. However, they have taken on a very

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