Harvest

Weathering Seasons of Change

“I will bless My people and their homes around My holy hill. And in the proper season I will send the showers they need. There will be showers of blessing.” ~ Ezekiel 34-26 “There shall be showers of blessing; this is the promise of love; there shall be seasons refreshing, sent from the Savior above. Showers of blessing, showers of blessing we need; Mercy drops ‘round us are falling, but for the showers we plead.” ~ There Shall Be Showers of Blessing ~ Baptist Hymnal 1956 “To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven.” ~ Ecclesiastes 3:1 “To everything, turn, turn, turn, There is a season, turn, turn, turn, And a time to every purpose under Heaven” Turn, Turn, Turn Lyrics – The Byrds ~ 1965   In the mid-1960’s the folk-rock group, The Byrds, made popular a song whose lyrics were taken almost verbatim from the Bible from the book of Ecclesiastes, King James Version, although the sequence was rearranged to fit the melody. When I hear it, I think of seasons of life…past, present and to come…and I reflect on what I’ve learned. Autumn is my favorite season and we are in the throes of its beginning for this current year. I’m not exactly sure why it’s become my favorite over the years, but it has. In fact, for me, there’s something fascinating about the changing of every season that causes me to sit up and take notice. I suppose that Winter into Spring, the shedding of dormancy into new life, is the most obvious seasonal change. After all, what compares to new beginnings and rebirth? Less apparent I think, but not less important, is the morphing of Spring into Summer. This continues the growing season, the time we take advantage of light and warmth to prepare for the colder months ahead. These are the lazy, hazy days of Summer-fun coupled with rest and relaxation; in a very real way, the calm before the storm. We plan, plant, water and nurture, day after day and week after week. We know if we are diligent, a harvest of bounty awaits us at the changing of yet another season, one in which we’ll need the fruits of our Summer labor to carry us through, to sustain us when life is colder, darker, more bleak…a time when it’s up to us to lean on and utilize the provisions with which we’ve been blessed. Whether a harvest of fruits and vegetables ready for preserving, or the blessing of strength and health that permits us to work so we can be warm in winter: Cutting wood for fire, knitting or stitching warm blankets and clothes, or the good health to attend to the work of our employer or business for steady income. After laboring comes our harvest, the yield of blessings we reap from sowing and nurturing during those prior seasons of growth. But “therein lies the rub,” a common phrase reminds us. We have to “make hay while the sun shines” another admonishes. The opportunity to care for ourselves, being good stewards of our resources, may pass us by if we’re not careful to take action. I don’t know about you, but in my depressed (and often anxious) state, this is much easier said than done. So that is the topic that concerns me today; how do we transition during the changing seasons and circumstances of life? Right now I’m doing what is called “writing in process.” It means I don’t have it all figured out and I’m not exactly sure where my words will take me. I’m thinking and writing concurrently. I know there is something deep down that I need to figure out for myself, and maybe help you along the way, but I don’t have the answers just yet. So I’m talking to you as I type, hoping that will help, the way chatting with old friends and baring our souls often leads to seeing challenges in a new light or helps us begin to understand something that, until now, has escaped us. Fall is a slow fade into dormancy…not death, but dormancy. And in times of hardship, that’s the hope because dormancy doesn’t last forever. It will pass. But for now…there’s a meme that floats around social media this time of year that declares, “autumn is about to show us how beautiful it is to let things go.” I don’t know the origins of this phrase, but it is usually accompanied with photos of falling leaves of yellow, orange and red, some being tossed by the wind and others laying in piles beneath barren trees. And every time I scroll across these words, I find myself in awe. It’s such a simple, yet profound truth. And isn’t that the way truth is? It sometimes eludes us, even for long periods of time because maybe, just maybe, we make it too hard. We rack our brains trying to wrap our mind around life’s circumstances, and try as we might, there often seems to be no answer. Then suddenly it’s there. Maybe not a complete answer, but a beginning…somewhere to start. Let go… The simple thought crosses our mind. It’s like a whisper, but from where?  And there is a subtle “knowing” deep in our soul.  “Your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, ‘This is the way; walk in it.” (Isaiah 30:21) Let it go… There it is again, a little more emphatically. You feel the muscles in your hands relax as they loosen their grip. You breath quickens and you hear the gentle rustle of the air, as that thing you’ve held tightly to for so long wafts to the ground. Your heart races as it surrenders to change. When that thing…that stubbornly held belief, or the insistence of control over something no longer yours, the toxic habit that was never good for you, or the relationship long since dead…when it hits the ground there isn’t a thud. Instead there’s a

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Dig Deep

Have you ever had a moment in your life when you felt the Spirit asking you to take a leap of faith? Not just a step but an actual leap? A leap into the unknown? A leap into a place that’s completely out of your comfort zone? It’s been over four years since I felt that initial urging to take such a leap and I’m so thankful I did. Looking back now, I didn’t have a lot of choice. I could’ve stayed and fought for a marriage my ex had already said he didn’t want to remain in or trust God and leap out into the unknown. I don’t remember consciously making the decision to leap. I only know I felt being in the unknown with God was a much better place to reside than staying in an abusive marriage with a controlling, adulterous, narcissistic man. God rescued me by asking me to take that leap of faith. I didn’t know I needed rescuing at the time and could only see loss and heartache in front of me. I’m so thankful for the God who sees. Jehovah El Roi.  It really doesn’t seem possible that I’ve been on this  journey with Jesus for as long as I have. Sometimes I have to stop and pinch myself to ensure this life He’s given me isn’t just a figment of my imagination. He has blessed me beyond measure since I stepped off the edge of that metaphorical cliff and into His hand. He has provided for every single need. When my divorce was final, I truly didn’t think I’d survive it. I’d never been more broken and alone. Obviously, I didn’t know then what I do now, but grief is an unpredictable emotion. It makes you feel, do, and say things you thought you never would. The past four years were fraught with many tears and much pain. However, I can also say I’ve experienced plenty of joy along the way as well. Sometimes stepping out into the unknown can be scary but when you know Jesus is there, fear is dispelled and peace ensues.  Spring is in full force here in the South. The grass is turning green again and the plants that have been dormant all winter are, once again, popping up through the dirt and springing back to life.  I have always enjoyed having a beautiful yard to look at but have NEVER enjoyed yard work. I still don’t, to some degree. It doesn’t matter if it’s pulling weeds, edging, or simply mowing the grass. Those are things that make me sweaty (especially in the humid South), dirty, and exhausted. But God has given me a new perspective and has changed my attitude about that, as well as a lot of other things.  And it all started with a little dogwood tree. I moved into my home in March of 2018. At that time, I had so much healing ahead of me, it wore me out just to think about it. My days were spent at work for eight hours then coming home and falling into bed, completely exhausted and overcome with heartache. However, on the weekends it was time to take care of my yard. God blessed me with a beautiful home and I was determined to be a good steward and take care of it to the best of my ability. Which included taking care of my yard. I have an average size front yard, but the back is much bigger. It’s mostly grass but I have made a small garden area right outside my patio door, complete with plants that don’t need a lot of attention. They basically pop up through the dirt at the beginning of Spring and look good until they die back and go dormant for another winter season. They’re very low maintenance which is perfect for me. I’ll never forget the first time I mowed.   I purchased a lawn mower and an edger to assist in my newfound effort to keep my lawn beautifully manicured. I’d helped with yard work during my marriage but was never completely in charge of it and really wasn’t expected to be. (Truth be told, I really didn’t want to be.)  Looking back, I really took it for granted that someone else always did the yard maintenance. I’m thankful I paid enough attention, from time to time, to have a little bit of knowledge as to what it took to mow the grass and maintain a yard. With that being said, I knew absolutely nothing about maintaining a lawn mower. Gas, oil, spark plugs, air filter, engine…Ugh! Some assembly was required before I could start mowing. It was a daunting task and I was getting a bit anxious over the whole thing. I thought it would be easy to put together by having a picture of it fully assembled on the box as a guide. It was not! So, I found the owner’s manual and sat down to read each step before continuing in my effort to assemble my new gas powdered piece of machinery.  I have no idea how long it took me to get the mower put together but, somehow, I managed it.  I was ready!  It started with the first pull of the cord! Guess the owner’s manual is put into the box for a reason after all! : ) As I started walking back and forth over the grass, suddenly, giant tears welled up in my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I had no idea what brought them on but, as I’ve said before, grief is an unpredictable emotion. It comes and goes with no warning. I stopped mowing and sat down right where I was. Right in the middle of my half-mown yard.  “This is not fair, Jesus. Why do I have to be in this place all alone? Why don’t You send him back to me? I don’t know how to do life on my own. I shouldn’t have

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When He Whispers

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head and, no matter what you do to make it stop, it just plays over and over and over again? That happened to me today. However, this song was different. It was comforting to have it resounding over and over in my head. Perhaps, it was by design. A gentle reminder of where I belong and to Whom I belong. Albert Brumley wrote this song in 1936 so it may be a little out-dated and a little old-fashioned but it still carries so much truth and amazing comfort. And it’s still one of my very favorites. I had an appointment this morning and the only route there took me by a landmark that instantly reminds me of a few of my ex-husband’s life choices. I usually try to avert my eyes to avoid seeing it but, more often than not, the apprehension starts before I even get there. Just as it did this morning. As the landmark started creeping into view, this comforting song came to mind, as if from no where, and began crowding out the apprehension in my heart. The closer I got to the monument representing sorrowful memories of my past, the louder this anthem rang. It was then I realized it didn’t just come from no where. It was by design. Just as He always does, my Faithful and True had gone before me and prepared the way so as I reached the place where grief usually overwhelms me, glory took its place! This world is not my home, I’m just a-passin’ through, My treasures are laid up, Somewhere beyond the blue, The angels beckon me, From heaven’s open door, And I can’t feel at home in this world anymore. Who am I that the Eternal God of the Universe was already there, waiting, just to whisper this song over me, just to ensure I would drive over 50 yards of familiar pavement, without grief engulfing me? Such love I have never known in this life. It relentlessly pursues me. This unconditional, amazing, abundant love of Jesus. It overwhelms me. I am completely undone. Living in this world, we will experience situations that will hurt us. Sometimes, deeply. Whether the pain is caused by a choice of our own making, by the choice of someone else, or even something completely out of our control, in this world, we will have trouble. Jesus even warned us about it. His words are found in John 16:33. “I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace. In the world you have tribulation and distress and suffering, but be courageous [be confident, be undaunted, be filled with joy]; I have overcome the world.” ~ John 16:33 AMP I’ve driven by that landmark in the next town too many times to count and why God chose to whisper to me in that moment, confirmed several things. First and foremost, He very clearly wanted to remind me that this world is not my home and the painful situations that happen to me as I journey here, are temporal. This world belongs to the enemy of my soul, I am a stranger living here for just a brief moment in time, to do the work He’s called me to do, and, when that’s complete, He’ll call me home. I also know He’s preparing me for the next step in this journey and He doesn’t want my past overshadowing my future. He wants me to be courageous as I drive by that particular piece of real estate and know beyond doubt that what He cut from my life, He did because He loves me. He alone knew what would’ve happened had I stayed in that abusive marriage. He alone knew the plans for my future didn’t include a man who didn’t honor nor respect the woman He created me to be. He also knew, the heartache and grief experienced during that time, would be momentary and would not, could not, compare to what He has waiting for me. He whispered all of that into my heart with just seven short lines of a very old song that brought with them not only revelation, but peace and love beyond comprehension. However, that beautiful moment was not the first time God has whispered to me through music. He does it quite often. I’ve been blessed to have been part of quite a few church choirs and on several praise teams so there’s music written on my heart forever. But, I truly believe, the sweetest songs He brings to the forefront of my mind are the older ones I’ve stored away and have either forgotten or haven’t thought of in a very long time. Just like the precious one above. A few months ago, God reminded me of a song I had first sung, sometime back in 1988, at our church in Alaska. I recall the music minister had been encouraging me to be a soloist. I really didn’t think I had a solo-type voice. (I hadn’t sung by myself since 7th grade when, during a choir concert, my voice cracked right in the middle of a one line solo and all the boys on the back row laughed out loud at me. It was one of the most humiliating moments of junior high. From that moment on, I told myself I’d never sing another solo again. But God had different plans.) I told my music minister I would really pray about it and even went as far as to actually drive to the Jesus store (what my kids have always called the christian bookstore) and look for a song to start working on. Long story short, I not only sang that song, I became a regular on the “special music” rotation. All of that, to say this. It’s the songs I sang in church, all those years ago, when my kids were little, that God is giving back to me now. However, they have taken on a very

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