It wasn’t what I expected.
God always has a purpose. He always knows what the outcome will be. He knows what’s in my future. He’s already there. So, if He already knows what’s ahead for me and He’s promised for it not to harm me, why is it I pray for His method to get me there, be different than what it is?
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.”
~ Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV
When my kids were little, I did everything I could to keep them safe. Whether it was crossing a street or playing on a playground, I was always alert and aware of who or what was around them or could be coming at them. I could see things they couldn’t see.
It’s no different with God. We are His kids. He is always alert and aware of who or what is around us or is coming at us. He can see things we can’t see.
At times, I struggle against His method of getting me where He wants me because in that moment, I just want the pain to stop…I just want to feel “normal” again…if only for a few minutes. But what is normal? Living in a relationship with no love and being made to feel worthless? That normal? Do I really want that? No…I do not. But this new normal hurts, too, is lonely at times, and I have to work through memories and process experiences that have crushed me. So, how do I get through it? How do I embrace where God has placed me even while dealing with past hurt and rejection? How do I live with both?
When Jesus was on earth, He taught His disciples and the people of His day through parables. A parable is an earthly story with a heavenly meaning. He used every day objects and scenarios the people could relate to so they would understand. Yet, the story carried a deeper, spiritual meaning.
Last week, I listened to a sermon on the parable of the weeds. Having grown up in church, I’ve heard this Bible story several times in my life but it’s never touched me as deeply as it did last week. God knows my struggles. He knows what has hurt me and He knows exactly where my heart needs to be encouraged. God is using this parable to teach me how I can embrace the season He’s placed me in while dealing with the pain and rejection of my past.
The Parable of the Weeds
24 He put another parable before them, saying, “The kingdom of heaven may be compared to a man who sowed good seed in his field, 25 but while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat and went away. 26 So when the plants came up and bore grain, then the weeds appeared also. 27 And the servants of the master of the house came and said to him, ‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have weeds?’ 28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ So the servants said to him, ‘Then do you want us to go and gather them?’ 29 But he said, ‘No, lest in gathering the weeds you root up the wheat along with them. 30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, “Gather the weeds first and bind them in bundles to be burned, but gather the wheat into my barn.”
~ Matthew 13:24-30 ESV
Wheat and tares (weeds) look the same as they are growing. You can’t tell them apart until they mature and show their fruit. The wheat turns to a golden brown and the tares turn black. At harvest time, the farmer finally knows which is which. He gathers the tares, bundles them up, and casts them into the fire. Then he gathers up the good seed, the wheat, and stores them in his barn.
God uses everything we experience in this life to bring about His purpose for us. Nothing is wasted. He uses the good and the bad. The wheat and the weeds. If we start pulling up or praying away what we see as bad in our life, we might pray away the very thing God intends to use for our harvest. We can’t see what is growing underneath. Just as the farmer couldn’t see how the roots of both the wheat and the weeds are intertwined under the ground, we can’t see how God has intertwined the good and the bad to lead us to our purpose.
They both grow together.
Pain and Purpose.
Faith and Fear.
Hurt and Hope.
Celebration and Sorrow.
God uses it all. We must embrace where we are and let God do the rest. I am learning this right along with you. I haven’t achieved it yet but it’s the desire of my heart to allow God to use both to grow me into the person He wants me to be. He wants to use the pain and rejection of my past to encourage you right where you are in yours because I’ve been there. I get it. Perhaps that’s the whole reason God allowed me to experience it. Perhaps it was for you. To tell you that yes, it hurts. No, it’s not fair. No, it doesn’t make sense. But God has a bigger plan and a bigger purpose. For both of us!
There will be a harvest. At that time, God will separate the good from the bad then we will see how He used both to grow us. To mature us into what He planned for us all along.
No, this season wasn’t what I expected or what I would’ve chosen for my life but God sees the whole picture. What I see as a failure in my life may be the seed of my greatest success. I cannot see what God has growing beneath the surface. If I ask Him to remove the pain, I may be, unknowingly, asking Him to remove the very thing He needs to lead me into the next season of my life.
Jesus, once again, I relinquish control to You. You know the plans You have for me. I believe Your word and I believe Your promises. I believe You are using all the things from my past to lead me on to all You have waiting for me. I choose to embrace the unknown because I know You’re already there and I trust You. Forgive my lack of faith and for attempting to pray the pain away. I know You take what the enemy meant for evil and You turn it for good. I rest in that. I rest in You. I rest because I know You’re a good, good Father and You only want the very best for me. It may be hard for awhile and the weeds may grow up around me but there will be a harvest! Oh, praise Your Holy Name…there will be a harvest!
Thank You for where You have placed me and for how far You have brought me. Help me not to dwell on the past but to look forward to how You will use it for all You have planned.
Thank You for the pain… for it’s in that pain, You will lead me to my purpose.
In Your Precious Name, I ask these things…
Amen and Amen
There’s purpose in the pain…reason in the rejection…hope in the hatred…faith in the failure…an answer in the abandonment. God holds them all and is weaving them together to bring about His plan for your life. You can trust Him. He knows how the story ends…because He’s written it.
One day, you’ll look back and see how it all worked together for the purpose He had for you all along.
The painful purpose.