That’s Grace

How do you define grace?

Some say grace before a meal. Some walk with grace. Some behave with grace. Some stay in your good graces. Some bow out with grace. Some gardens or walkways can be graced with flowers. Some faces have graced the covers of magazines. Some grace us with their presence. Some are even called Your Grace. On and on it goes.

However, for me, the meaning of this word goes much deeper. My entire life and eternity are based on this one word. If it weren’t for grace, I’d be lost forever.

God is stretching me again. Just when I think I’ve put something behind me, or have learned something new and have a grasp on it, He takes me deeper. And going deeper means I truly have to examine my heart and see what’s really in there. Is my flesh going to win with this one or will it be something that changes the way I look at things forever and see them the way God sees them?

Is grace something you do? Is grace something you give? Is it something you are? Is it something you choose? Something you walk in? Is it for some and not for others? Does it depend on the circumstances? Is it unconditional or are strings attached?

Grace is defined as unmerited favor.

Unmerited: underserved; unwarranted.

Favor: Approval, a special privilege or right granted.

Hmmmmm.

So, in a nutshell, unmerited favor is approval or a special privilege that we don’t deserve. Who even does that? Is it even possible for us to do?

That’s exactly what Jesus did when He took our place on the cross. He went willingly. He, who knew NO SIN, became sin for us (2 Corinthians 5:21).

Wait just a minute!

He took our sin upon Himself then gives us approval that we don’t deserve? What? What incredible, unconditional love!! That’s exactly what He did and what He gives. Oh, what a Savior! Doesn’t make a whole lot of sense, does it? It surely doesn’t to me.

But that’s grace! That’s unmerited favor! That’s Jesus!

Since we have the Holy Spirit of God living inside us, should we not also bestow this kind of grace on someone who has hurt us? On someone who, perhaps, has broken our heart? On someone who has taken something from us? Or maybe talks about us behind our back or uses us for their own gain?

We are to be Christ-like. We are to have His character. We are to have His heart. We are to love like He does. We are to forgive like He does. Is that easy? Ummm…NO!  We cannot do it on our own and in our flesh. Even though we may not understand why God allows some things to touch our lives that are heartbreaking, they are filtered through His loving hands first so they must serve some sort of purpose. We may not know what that purpose is but we must trust our Heavenly Father and know that He is allowing it for a reason. So, what do we do when hurtful situations are allowed to touch us? Do we choose to forgive that person and offer them grace or do we seethe inside and hold a grudge which only causes more damage to ourselves and damages our relationship with Jesus? Oh, and you can certainly count on the enemy to bring it back into our thoughts as much as he can. If he can get us to take our eyes off Jesus and keep us focused on the pain, he has achieved his goal.

I, for one, don’t ever want to see the enemy win or get the best of me. And, yet, I allow him to do just that. I know all he is out to do is “steal, kill, and destroy” (John 10:10). Then why do I let him win sometimes? Am I weak or am I just having a weak moment?

“Be of sober spirit, be on the alert, your adversary, the devil, prowls about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.”

~ 1 Peter 5:8 NASB

Unfortunately, the enemy’s favorite meal is Christians on a Skewer. He hates us. He wants nothing more than to devour and destroy us. He is strong, cruel, fierce, and greedy. If he can get us to fall prey to his lies, he has essentially devoured us. So then, are we hopeless? Are we forever doomed to be in this trap with no way out and no escape? The answer to that, my dear friend, is a resounding NO! The Apostle Peter goes on to say in that same chapter in verse 10, these encouraging words.

“After you have suffered for a little while, the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you.”

~ 1 Peter 5:10 NASB

Even though the enemy works against us and may even use others as pawns to do his bidding and wreak havoc in our lives, the Apostle Peter reminds us of Whose we are! Do you see that precious word again? The God of all grace. Once we have suffered for a little while, “the God of all grace will Himself perfect, confirm, strengthen and establish you”.

What an amazing promise.

Okay, so what about those of us who are caught in the cross fire of the attack? What do we do? Those who have suffered the heart break or have been the recipient of the ridicule or have been used for someone else’s gain? Well, the answer to that is we have a choice to make. We can either hold a grudge, be angry, and try our best to get back at them or we can choose the high road. God’s road. The road of forgiveness. The road of grace. The road of mercy. Even though the first choice would make us feel really good and justified for a season, we’d only end up more miserable and leave ourselves open for the enemy to get a foothold in our heart. I don’t ever want that and I would venture to guess, you don’t either. Nothing good can ever come from the enemy winning.

So, we choose grace. Unmerited favor. Do they deserve it? Probably not. However, do we deserve the grace that God extends to us when we mess up? Do we deserve to be saved because of the sacrificial death of Jesus on the cross when it was our sin that hung Him there? That would be another resounding NO! None of us deserve His grace. None of us deserve His unconditional love and mercy. And yet, He gives it to us anyway.

So, since we are to be like Him, shouldn’t we do the same?

What is grace?

God’s Riches At Christ’s Expense.

Unmerited favor.

Something we can’t earn.

Nor do we even deserve.

And yet, He gives it freely.

That’s love, my dear friend.

That’s mercy!

That’s grace!

Six Years, Ten Months, and Twenty-Seven Days Later

The writing above was originally written on July 14, 2015.

I wrote these precious truths about the amazing grace of God before I knew my husband (as he was at that time) was off in Japan starting a new relationship with the woman he eventually left me for.

Am I to forgive? Am I to extend grace to a man who thought nothing of his vows?  Am I to just let all the atrocities done against me go?

The answer is yes. If I am to have a heart like Jesus, the answer must be yes.

Even though I had no idea what he was doing, have since discovered years of infidelity, have gone through a painful divorce, and have spent the past four plus years healing from the heartache of it all, I would absolutely, positively, most assuredly write these same truths and these very same words about God’s amazing grace all over again. They are as true today as they were on the day I penned them.

God does not change! His truth does not change! His amazing, matchless, incomparable grace does not change!!

I have learned a lot about God’s grace since my life did a one-eighty. As I re-read the writing above, several thoughts came to mind.

I can very clearly see the hand of God on my life. I realize now, He started preparing me for the end long before I had any inkling of betrayal. He protected my heart and revealed truth little-by-little. Even though I saw it unfolding before my very eyes, I didn’t quite understand the depth of the depravity until God removed me from the situation entirely. It was only then He began to reveal other things that had been kept from me.

Up until I learned about the infidelity, I had been somewhat protected from any kind of deep heartache. I experienced the death of both my grandparents and my daddy but somehow, I think we just know that as parents and grandparents age, the day they die will eventually touch our life. I don’t think there’s anything to prepare you for your spouse cheating. It comes as one big blow. It was like someone had taken a sledge hammer to my chest and took out my lungs and my heart in one fell swoop.

Knowing what God’s word says about grace, forgiveness, and mercy is one thing but when it comes time to putting those same attributes into practice, when faced with an out-of-my-control-heart-wrenching situation, it’s quite another. Spending time in God’s word and hiding it in our heart is crucial to getting through this life. So, when trials come, and they will, we have God’s promises and assurances to fall back on. Until I was faced with an unfaithful spouse, I didn’t fully realize how incredibly important it is to have scripture rooted so deeply in my heart and mind, all the Spirit has to do is touch the scripture storehouse of my heart and it immediately comes to me exactly when I need it the most.

I guess you could say it’s the difference between head knowledge and heart knowledge. Two completely different things.

I believe, with all my heart, God had me write the truths in the previous post to teach me more about His grace, His forgiveness, and His mercy. He knew what I was going to face in 2017 and wanted my heart prepared so when the sledge hammer hit and knocked me down, I’d know where to run. I’m so thankful I did.

My heart cry is that of King David when he penned these words in Psalm 139.

“O Lord, You have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    You discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, You know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
    and lay Your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
    it is high; I cannot attain it.” 

~ Psalm 139:1-6 ESV

So, how have I done? I’d love to say I forgave him instantly, the past is behind me and forgotten, and I’m all healed up and ready for whatever is next but that would not be the truth. The fact of the matter is, I still struggle with these things. I don’t dwell on them nor do the memories come to mind as often anymore but the damage has been done. When you love deeply, you grieve deeply. I can say, with complete honesty, the posture and intent of my heart is to forgive him and put it all behind me. That is what I strive to do every day. Some days are harder than others but I know when I surrender the pain to Jesus right when it creeps up, it keeps my heart open to more healing. I don’t want to become hard and bitter. The enemy would love nothing more than for me to give in to the pain again and let it devour me. I won’t let him win. I’ve come too far.

Surrender is not an easy thing to do. We have to war against our fleshly, sinful nature not to hold a grudge. Holding on to the offense only hurts me. The world would tell me to be angry and make him pay but I know that attitude does not honor and please my Savior. I trust Him to carry the offense for me because He knows how. My flesh does not. If there is one thing I’ve learned during this season, it’s that my ex does not care how his life-choices affected me then or now. There’s no point in re-hashing the past. His life is all about him and his desires and his comfort. I have peace in knowing he will answer to Almighty God one day for everything he did or didn’t do in his life. God keeps meticulous records and knows every single detail of what he did to me. God will hold him accountable. Knowing that full well, I can be free to allow Jesus to continue His healing process in me.

It is my deepest desire to reflect the woman Jesus desires me to be; not the angry, pinch-faced, bitter old woman the enemy wants me to be. I have been touched by many painful events in a very short period of time but I can say with absolute assurance that God’s grace is sufficient.

“But He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

~ 2 Corinthians 12:9-10 ESV

It doesn’t matter what we may go through in this life, God’s amazing grace is enough to get us through anything. I’ve not only felt it, I have lived it these past four plus years. In and of myself, I am weak and cannot carry the weight of the grief my heart has felt but when I allow Jesus to carry it for me, I can be at rest right in the middle of the most heart-wrenching of circumstances.

One day, I’ll literally and forever be at rest and in the arms of my Savior and the world with all of its trouble and trials will be over. But…

Until then, my heart will go on singing,
Until then, with joy I’ll carry on,
Until the day, my eyes behold that city,
Until the day, God calls me home.

~ Written by Carl Stuart Hamblen in 1958