He was my idol. In 1975, I was a pre-teen. Every month, I anxiously awaited for the latest issue of Tiger Beat Teen Idol magazine to hit the grocery store magazine rack. Once I held it in my hands, I couldn’t wait to get home so I could pour over its pages and all the teen idols that were photographed in it. In my day, David Cassidy, Donny Osmond and Andy Gibb were the most popular with girls on the verge of becoming teenagers. I read the magazine from cover to cover then carefully tore out the portraits and taped them on my bedroom wall. These guys were perfect in my estimation and became my crushes. However, deep down, I knew I’d never meet them, let alone any one of them ever becoming my Prince Charming. But it was nice to dream about one of them coming for me on a white horse then carry me away to a far away land to live happily ever after. He was my idol. For fifteen seasons, American Idol was a popular show on TV. People from all over the country would travel for miles to stand in line for hours to perhaps get a shot at becoming the next pop sensation. Sadly, a lot of those people went home with their dreams crushed. The chances of actually being chosen were slim and yet, there were thousands who reached for that moment of fame. The chance to be someone. The chance to be the next “American Idol”. He was my idol. The Old Testament is becoming alive to me. There was a time when I didn’t completely understand it but recently, God has been using the stories contained within its pages to teach me some valuable lessons about life. One such book is Hosea. In the first chapter of this Old Testament book, God tells His prophet, Hosea, to take for his wife a prostitute named Gomer. Although it might seem a little strange for God to tell Hosea to marry this woman of harlotry, He had a specific reason for doing so. The purpose of Hosea’s union with a prostitute was to demonstrate how God’s people were being unfaithful to Him by abandoning Him and worshipping other gods. The Northern Kingdom of Israel had turned their backs on God and were worshipping idols. Hosea warned them time and again of their impending attack and enslavement by the Assyrians if they didn’t repent, turn from their idols, and come back to Jehovah God. The chances of Gomer staying faithful to Hosea were pretty slim. She did eventually go back to her old ways, even though she and Hosea had a life together that included three children. This hurt Hosea very deeply because he loved Gomer. God told Hosea to demonstrate love and grace toward Gomer and buy her back from the man she was with. He was obedient and did as God instructed him to do. Hosea loved Gomer and gave her a second chance as God had instructed him to do. He was my idol. So, what exactly is an idol? Webster defines it this way. “A representation or symbol of an object of worship; a false god; a false conception” Simply put, an idol is anything that takes God’s place in our life. Period. Six Years, Nine Months, and Twenty-Nine Days Later The words above were originally written on November 6, 2015. It’s an excerpt from a writing named Idol Excuses posted on my previous website. For the better part of my marriage, my ex was the be all end all of my existence. It’s something I’m certainly not proud of. Not in the least. I always told myself I would never knowingly put anyone or anything before God and yet, my former spouse took precedence over everyone and everything in my life. For quite some time, I have been hard-pressed to write about this facet of my previous life. I’ve struggled greatly with the direction it needed to go and the purpose for which it would serve. It’s not an easy topic to broach. Reflecting on this particular part of the past brings with it a lot of pain, heartache, and quite honestly, it’s absolutely exhausting. However, as with every past writing, I know sharing my experience will also bring healing and restoration, not only to myself but perhaps to others as well. I always pray my experiences and subsequent lessons learned, will touch others and bring along with them hope and healing. In May of 2015, I learned my ex had been exchanging emails with some women in Japan. At first, he laughed it off and told me they were just some friends he worked with while we were stationed there. I told him he had no business emailing other women, even if they were “just friends”. He agreed with me and said he wouldn’t do it anymore but from that point on, I was always suspicious of his email activity. He had lied about many things in the past so my radar was definitely engaged. Shortly after that conversation, he became very guarded with his tablet and phone. He was definitely hiding something. I could sense it. However, I didn’t have any evidence to prove it so I started observing him a little more closely. It wasn’t long after that initial discovery, he made another trip to Japan for his employer. His trips had become more frequent and were a bit longer every time he went. Late one evening, I was sitting in bed scrolling through Facebook when I suddenly felt compelled to check his email. I had only felt this sense of urgency a few times before and I knew exactly Who it had come from. I only remembered one password for his email account, he’d given me years before, and I thought surely if he were hiding something, he’d change it. But he hadn’t. Somehow I believe that even if he had changed it, God
