Hope

Details, Details, Details

Leave a Comment / Healing, Hope, Peace / /

Have you ever had your car detailed? I have only had it done once, a very long time ago, but I was surprised at how everything that was chrome glistened and there didn’t seem to be a speck of dust anywhere. The only thing I noticed that was missing was the new car smell! (Why can’t they put that in the details?) I wanted it to stay that way forever but alas, it did not because you know, life happens! Before too much time had passed, my car was, once again, back to the way it had been before. Just as the person who worked on my car ensured that he didn’t leave one detail from missing the end of his cleaning instrument, God is that way with you and me. He wants to ensure He doesn’t leave one detail out so He can lead us on to our purpose but, alas, we tend to go back to wanting to be in control of our own lives…and before too much time has passed, we go back to the way we had been before. I do it all the time…and this past week was no exception. God is in the details. There is a tradition at some churches to  choose a word for the year to act as a theme for what you want to focus on in the new year.  For 2018, the year immediately following my divorce, I chose the word forward. It was truly the desire of my heart to move forward and leave all the pain and grief behind me. I was absolutely amazed at how God used that word to lead me into my new normal. I saw and heard that word everywhere! My daughter even made this picture for me to hang in my new house as a reminder of God’s provision and faithfulness. He constantly reminded me that He was leading me forward and had a specific and detailed plan for my life. 2018 was definitely the hardest year of my life, thus far, yet even in the times I felt like I’d taken a few steps back due to pain or grief, there was an Unseen Hand leading me forward. God is in the details. The word I chose for 2019 is Content. I made the choice to be content with all God has provided and to live within my means. I accumulated a lot of debt in the year following my divorce and, I will admit, some was of my own making. Retail therapy is not a wise choice when you’re grieving but it’s what I turned to, trying to relieve the agony I was feeling. (Side note: it. did. not. work. I was still in pain and had accumulated a bunch of stuff that, while it made my new home and yard look beautiful, I was left with credit card bills to pay.) The rest of it came as a result of my son’s college expenses (student loans), medical expenses, dental expenses, and, unfortunately, a huge tax bill. Unexpected things that you can’t really prepare for. Things that come up as you live life. In March of this year, I received word (through my kids) that their dad had lost his job. Up to this point, he had been paying alimony as part of our divorce settlement. Even though I had grown to depend on that income, my instincts kept telling me that it wouldn’t last long. Deep in my heart, I knew he would find some way to stop supporting me. I don’t know if it was the Holy Spirit forewarning me about it or if I just know my ex that well…perhaps it was a little of both. Once the alimony stopped, I actually felt peace. Yes…you read that word correctly. I experienced unexplainable peace. It was one of those “God things” that doesn’t quite make sense to our finite minds yet was very tangible. I was actually relieved. I no longer had anything keeping me tied to him. That, in and of itself, was freeing! Since that time, God has been showing me what it means to live day to day being content with Him being my Provision. He absolutely knows the debt I have. He absolutely knows whether or not my ex “lost his job” or if he just found another way to hurt me. It didn’t take long for the enemy to start messing with my peace. He cannot read our minds but he’s very observant and hears the words we speak aloud. After a few months of struggling with the debt load, I started listening to the enemy. As a result, I became angry that my ex seemed to be “winning”. So, I took matters into my own hands. I did not pray about it. I did not ask God what I should do. I just wanted my way. I wanted answers and I wanted them now. (Just being real and raw here.) I contacted my attorney to see if anything could be done about him not supporting me in some monetary way, since he signed a legally binding document. But, ya know what? I hit road blocks at every turn. In my anger and frustration, I cried out to God about all the injustices my ex was inflicting on me. Why, God? It isn’t fair that he’s getting everything he wanted! He just cast me aside and walked away so he could have his new life with his girlfriend! Why should he be allowed to get by with not supporting me with whatever income he has? I supported him for years and what thanks do I get? I was angry and I wanted God to know it. In my heart, I already knew He knew it but I am grateful He loves me so much that He allowed me to vent. He allowed me to whine. He allowed me to be angry and frustrated. After He patiently waited for me finish my temper-tantrum, and

Details, Details, Details Read More »

Strong Foundation

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Healing, Hope, Peace, Strength / /

Last week was a struggle. The days passed by slowly and it seemed as if everything I put my hand on was either messed up or didn’t go as I had planned. I was happy when 5pm on Friday rolled around because it meant I could go home and hide for 3 days. And hide I have. This little house God has blessed me with is my sanctuary from the world. It is my quiet place from all the chaos beyond it’s walls. I was able to watch it’s construction from the ground up. It was exciting to visit my lot every night after work and see the progress of it all coming together. One such evening, as I pulled up in front, I saw that the foundation had been poured. The sun was going down but I had just enough daylight left to do what I had been planning. I grabbed a black sharpie from my purse and walked to the concrete slab that would be the strength for the walls to come. I started at one of the corners in the back. I knelt down and began writing scripture on the foundation of my new home. I had planned on only writing on the 4 corners but the more I wrote, the more scripture came to mind and I knew it had to be written. After I finished writing the scripture, I prayer walked all around the edges then to the middle where the next seasons of my life would happen. At this time, my divorce had only been final for 15 days and I had no idea what the future held for me. I was venturing out on my own…just me and Jesus. But, you know what? Knowing He was my Guide and He promised to never leave me, I had no fear. I’ve been living in my home for almost 2 years now and every once in awhile, the Spirit reminds me of the scripture written on it’s foundation. My home was built on God’s word. Just as my life should be. I am reminded of a parable Jesus taught in Matthew 7. “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.” ~ Matthew 7:24-27 ESV There have been times when my faith has faced the rains falling and the floods coming, with fierce winds beating down, as it was this past week. But even in those times, I know Who my Rock is. I know Who I have built my foundation on. I know Who my trust is in. I may have been tossed around a bit but I know the One who upholds me and I will not be down for long nor will I be swept away. I rest in and rely on God’s word to get me through the times when the enemy tries to get me to give up and give in. The fact that the enemy is messing with me in the first place is all the evidence I need to prove that I am on the right path and he doesn’t like it one bit. He knows that I trust Jesus with everything in my life…no matter what it is I’m going through. Jesus is my Strength and the Foundation of my life and anything the enemy can do to shake it, he will. Just as my home has God’s word written on its foundation, His precious word is written on the foundation of my heart. There have been so many times when I have been in the midst of a struggle or a memory from the past has triggered grief and I will hear the still, small voice of my Savior…whispering His word into my soul. He constantly reminds me that I am His and He is mine. He sees from the beginning to the end. He is in the details. No matter if it’s my checkbook that’s in the red or if I’m just having a sad day…He is there with me, right in the middle of everything I face. What about you? What is the foundation of your life built on? Money? Success? Your spouse? Your job?                                                               Your gift? I can promise you, all of those things will fail. I have put my faith in every single one of these and every single one, failed me. Every. Single. One. And, yes, I collapsed. Everything I’d ever known was swept away. I wanted to give up. I wanted to run and hide. Jesus knew that I had placed my trust and hope in these perishable things and He knew they’d fail me. He also knew I wanted to give up and run to hide. But it didn’t matter how far I tried to run, I ran into Jesus every single time. That’s how He is. Once you give Him your life, He doesn’t let you go! Oh, how thankful I am for that! For who is God, but the Lord?     And who is a rock, except our God? ~ Psalm 18:31 NASB Even the Psalmist knew the only foundation to build our lives on is Jesus! I know, with everything I am and as sure as I’m sitting here, I would not have made it through the trauma and grief of

Strong Foundation Read More »

Whose I Am

Leave a Comment / Healing, Hope, Peace / /

I’m in a battle…for my mind. This past week has been a very difficult one. Although it was not visible on the outside, there was a battle raging within me. On the outside, I looked like I was doing okay but my mind was at odds. On one side, stood the things I know to be true about God and His promises. On the other, the lies and deception of the enemy. Six months ago, I took a break from Facebook. It had taken over my life. I was more concerned about who was doing what with who and for how long than I was about reading God’s word, listening to praise and worship music, or even caring for the home that God has blessed me with. It had become too much. So, I asked my kids to change my password and not tell me what they changed it to. At first, it was a little hard for me but as the days without it passed, I noticed how much more peaceful my life had become. I didn’t even miss it. (I want to say right here and now that I’m not against Facebook or saying it’s a bad thing. We have a page for this ministry and it’s an awesome way to communicate with friends and family. It had just become too overwhelming for me and my personal walk with Jesus. I felt I needed to take a step back and reevaluate my priorities.) When this ministry was launched last month, I knew I would have to be back on Facebook to share content from the website. At first, it was going well and I thought I could handle it. That was my first mistake…I thought. Little did I know, it was a set up. A set up by the enemy to get me to go back to my old habits. The enemy will use anything he can to take our eyes off God and His purpose for our lives. Even if it only works for a little while. He knew the reason for me being back on Facebook was for the ministry but he also knows my habits. He knew that once I logged back on, it was only a matter of time, before I’d, once again, be searching and obsessing over things I could do nothing about. Ohhhh, the enemy is subtle. Even though I think I know his tactics and how he works, I fell. I was back in the pit! Even though I had been posting scripture and blog posts on the ministry page, I was on my personal page as well, back to obsessing over people and situations that are completely beyond my control. The enemy did not make me fall back into the pit…it was 100% my choice. All he did was present the opportunity then waited for me to act. Because that’s what he does. He sets the trap then waits for his prey. God’s word warns us about this in 1 Peter 5:8… “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.” ~ 1 Peter 5:8 ESV The sleepless nights had returned and, consequently, tossing and turning as well.  One particular night, as I was desperately waiting for sleep to find me, the Holy Spirit impressed on me to get my journal and write. As I got up to get my journal, I had no idea what to write about. I guess I could’ve started with I’m having a hard time sleeping tonight but God had a different word He wanted me to write down. This is what I heard Him speak into my heart. I will redeem what the enemy has stolen from you. So, I started out with those ten words. I was sure the Spirit was going to convict me over the Facebook fiasco but He didn’t. He just spoke His word into my heart. Fifteen pages later, I had written down everything God had reminded me of…of who I am…of Whose I am! God knew I was going to fall back into that pit. He knows my habits, too; just as the enemy does. But God has power over the enemy and what the enemy cannot do is read my thoughts. God knows my thoughts. He knows the intent of my heart. He knows that being back in that pit was not where I wanted to be. And instead of chastising me for my failure, He reminded me of Whose I am and Who He is! By reminding me that He is the Great I Am and I am His child, (which sets me free from the yoke of slavery the enemy wants me tangled up in) God reached down into my room that night, took me by the hand, and pulled me up out of the pit that was about to envelope me. It wasn’t dramatic. I didn’t hear anything except the still small voice of my Savior, speaking words of affirmation into my heart. Then He told me to lie down and go to sleep. And that, I did. It was the first time in a week I had laid down and drifted peacefully into rest. God knows what has broken my heart. God knows the events that have turned my life upside down. God knows that I’ve had no closure on a few things that were left undone. When I keep my mind focused on Him, peace remains. But when I allow the enemy to distract me, even for just a little while, the event that broke my heart and turned my world upside down, becomes more than I can handle. The enemy will use any means possible to stop the purpose of God in this world and His plans for my life. This time, he used Facebook as the catalyst against me. Facebook has a search engine that allows me to see things that cause excruciating pain. Both things I cannot change nor

Whose I Am Read More »

Seasons

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope / /

The steam curls up from the top of my cup, floating in the air, then fading from existence. Staring, I look for answers as though I expect words to pop out from the steam and hover in the void of space before my eyes. But it’s not that easy, I’ve discovered. I wish it were. Life progresses through seasons. Answers to the questions we have surrounding our circumstances arise from lessons we learn while in those seasons. The natural world changes predictably from one season to the next, but events in our lives can move us (or hurl us) unpredictably and without asking permission. I call these life events “seasons” because once we’re there, we usually stay awhile, soak everything in, take note of what we’ve learned, and then move forward as a changed person. Or not. The “or not” is up to us. Looking over my life, I can identify distinct seasons. All of us have them; the difference is they aren’t as timely or convenient as Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter. We experience joy, sadness, hope, disappointment, fullness, emptiness…life, death. There’s a balance and a natural order to life, but sometimes from our limited, human perspective, we refuse to cooperate. Sometimes we like life, sometimes we don’t. I know I’ve tried to rush life’s seasons, growing weary of the pouring rain or the gale force winds. And then, when you want it, where is that rush of cool air in the blistering heat? Without looking deeper, it might appear that in the heat, the hardware store of life is all out of fans. In truth, heat refines us. In Spring, the mild temperatures thaw frozen areas of our heart and mind. It feels good to be warm. Like buried bulbs, we break through the hard earth, allowing the sun to smile on our accomplishments, our brilliant colors blossoming to the possibilities. Then Summer comes, still ripe with color, but warm becomes hot. I am not an extreme-weather person. I don’t thrive in the hot, dog days of Summer, or in the frozen realms of Winter. I find my happy place in mild, gentle conditions. Sadly, good character isn’t formed under gentle conditions. For instance, fire purifies gold and silver by extracting impure metals from the ore, leaving behind a richly refined product. Furthermore, while still exposed to the intense heat, the metal becomes soft and pliable, ready to be fashioned into a design of the crafter’s choosing. This is akin to the way our Creator works. Now and again, the Lord allows us to go through things we’d rather not be part of; painful things, yes, but they refine us in the process. Other times, we choose our own circumstances, although not very wisely. We sometimes get ahead of ourselves and we run ahead of wisdom. We’ve all done it. Personally, I’ve crowned myself the queen of unwise choices. I have some extreme regrets but living in a place of regret and self-condemnation doesn’t produce anything of value. Conversely, the pain we find ourselves enduring may have nothing to do with us, and everything to do with another person, or people. I know someone who is guilty of love. That’s all. She loved with her whole self, sacrificially, as Christ asks. Her reward was the pain of betrayal by an extremely flawed person, who falsely presented himself as someone possessing the utmost in moral character. He was the fraud, but she still bore the brunt of the fallout. He bailed and she was left to hold herself and her children together. But the truth is, she was never alone. And neither am I; and neither are you. One of my favorite verses is Psalm 34:7&8. “The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who reverence Him, and he delivers them. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the one who takes refuge in Him.” When I read the word “encamp” a few images come to my mind: hot weather, camping, being entrenched, old military encampments with white tents. And in all these scenes, I imagine the Lord and His host of angels surrounding, supplying and protecting His warriors. I envision the soldiers gathered for evening rest before having to battle another day, a campfire in the middle for cooking, warmth and light. And while it stands to reason the enemy could also be surrounding and looking out on this scene, plotting its next attack, I believe to the depths of my being that those plans are in vain, because whatever surrounds God’s people, God surrounds it! No matter what season of life you find yourself in right now, no matter if it’s one that is natural, expected and predictable…or if it’s one that hit out of nowhere, like snowmageddon, a 500 year flood, or the drought of the century, it is a season in which you are not abandoned, you are never alone, and you will learn and grow. Not only that, but I predict you will thrive. Press into Jesus. Let Him love you. Let Him teach you. Let Him refine you. And always, always remember that “The Angel of the Lord encamps around those who reverence Him, and He delivers them.” Psalm 34:7

Seasons Read More »

He Does It For Me

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope, Strength / /

Life is unpredictable. It can change at any given moment. One minute, you’re going about your day and everything in your world is good. Your family is good. Your job is good. Things could not be better. Then, the unexpected happens. You get a phone call giving you test results you wish you’d never heard. You read an email you wish you’d never read. You see a post on social media you wish you’d never seen. Life as you knew it, up to that point, dramatically changed and so did you. Although we never know what will happen in life at any given moment, there are some things that are steadfast and will never change. There are promises God has given us in His word that will remain. Precious gifts given to encourage and give us hope. Gifts this world, with all of its trials, can never take away. As I sit here, I am reminded of an incident that happened to me a few years ago. It was one of those unexpected things that life brings you once in a while. It was completely random and was not welcoming. My immediate reaction was frustration and anger. However, the Spirit lovingly convicted me of my attitude and gently reminded me that I had a choice to make. I could lash out in anger and possibly make things worse or I could listen and allow Him to give me words that, while getting my point across, would be received a little better. I’m so thankful my choice was to listen to the Spirit because the words He gave me, resulted in a good outcome. I was blessed with some closure that I had been praying about for over a year. Sometimes, there are moments with the Holy Spirit that can only be felt. Moments that happen so deep within your soul, mere words cannot adequately describe the emotion nor the magnitude in which they were received. You may be wondering why a loving God allows grievous and hurtful situations to touch our lives. Whenever I have questions about things I don’t understand, I go to His word. In the book of 2 Corinthians, the Apostle Paul tells of his struggle with something that God allowed to touch his life that he did not find welcoming. He pleaded with God to it take away…yet, it remained. “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” ~ 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 ESV There have been countless times I’ve asked God to take the pain out of my heart left there by my divorce. There have been countless times I’ve asked Him to let me forget the feelings of rejection and betrayal. There have been countless times I’ve asked Him to remove memories on auto-play that only serve to remind me that he wasn’t the man I knew. And yet, they remain. Although I do not understand God’s ways, I trust Him completely. I have learned in my weakest, most vulnerable moments, I am strong because it is then His power can come through. I am not strong in and of myself but, when I allow His strength and His grace to carry me, I can get through anything…no matter what this life may bring. I don’t know the situations that have touched your life. I don’t know what you’re struggling with at this very moment. I don’t know who or what has caused grief to become part of who you are. But I do know this. I have been where you are. I am where you are. I understand. I get it. And you know what? So does Jesus. He’s been where you are. He understands. He gets it. He’s faithful. He’s constant. He’s a place you can hide. Ask Him to meet you right where you are. Right in the middle of your unpredictable-didn’t-see-it-coming-I-can’t-believe-this-is-happening situation. I promise you. He’ll be there. In the middle of your weakest moment. In the middle of unbearable pain. He’ll give you indescribable peace and His amazing strength will carry you. You want to know how I’m so sure? Because He does it for me.

He Does It For Me Read More »

Lost and Found

Leave a Comment / Hope / /

The day is at its end. The children sleep, and I’m curled up in the dark with the dying embers of a crackling fire as my only light. An old, familiar ache wells up in my chest and I find it hard to breathe. Where did time go? Wasn’t it “just the other day” I held hope and promise in my hands? I guess not, because many decades have passed. Time seems, at once, to race and stand still and I don’t know which is better. I look in the mirror. Where did the young girl go? She must have gone the way of time, disappearing into history when no one was watching. But she’s safe there, forever young, before the claws of the world mauled her beauty. Like a snapshot in time, she’s preserved. I wish I could find her, bring her back and teach her about wisdom. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and, with what I know now, relive crucial moments that forever altered life. I can’t. No one can. Yet, there is hope. There is a God in Heaven who specializes in second chances. He’s at His best when I am at my worst. He rises to the occasion when I fall at His feet. When I get to the end of myself, I reach the beginning of God. The middle of His will is the safest place I can be, because He makes a way where there is no way. The Lord says in Isaiah 43:19, “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing. Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.” I do see it. Sometimes there’s only enough light to illumine the path a step or two ahead, but I can see the direction it’s leading. Indeed, it leads through the desert, but what a miracle where once there was no road at all. God loves, He forgives, and He makes a way. It’s painful living with the consequences of our choices, some of which we made at such a tender age we couldn’t possibly comprehend the long-term effects. The world we live in eats it’s young, but God redeems that which is lost. Joel 2:25 says, “I will repay you the years the locusts have eaten,” and the 103rd Psalm declares, “Praise the Lord…who redeems your life from the pit…who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.” Life hurts. It comes at us with everything it has and we falter at its force, but God reaches down, lifts us up and whispers, “Things are not always as they seem; the final say is Mine.”

Lost and Found Read More »

Downpour

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Healing, Hope, Revelation / /

Have you ever been awakened in the middle of the night to the sound of a heavy rain? It happened to me a few nights ago. No thunder. No lightning. Just the soothing sound of a steady downpour of rain on the roof above me. I have always loved the sound of rain. Even as a child, it had a calming effect on me. Everything always smells so good after a heavy rain. Calm. Refreshed. Renewed. Over the past few weeks, I have started to notice that I’m feeling calm, refreshed, and renewed. Something I haven’t felt for a very long time. And it all started with some birds. I was having a restless Sunday afternoon. It had rained the night before so it was quite overcast, which seemed to match my mood perfectly. I had been working on my taxes and, due to recent life events, found myself owing much more than I had expected. I knew my budget wouldn’t accommodate such a number so I tried to turn my thoughts toward happier things. I listened to the same sermon three times. I prayed. I sang. I wrote in my journal. All my efforts to find relief for my restless heart were having no effect on how I felt whatsoever. So I decided that perhaps another cup of coffee might help to distract my mind a bit. It certainly couldn’t hurt so I made my way to the kitchen and the coffee pot. With the delicious aroma of freshly brewed coffee in the air and a steaming cup in my hand, I walked back towards the couch and was stopped mid-step at the sight in my back yard. There were birds everywhere! It was perfectly normal for one or two to be hopping across the grass in search of its next meal but this was something completely out of the ordinary. This was different. There have never been that many at one time. I knew there was something very special about these birds and was intrigued by how I felt drawn to them. I sat down on the couch very carefully so as not to disturb them. As I sat there watching them, I noticed they didn’t seem to be nervous about my presence nor did they seem to be in a hurry. They were just present, in that moment. Turning their tiny heads to listen for the provision that was crawling through the dirt just below them. They weren’t anxious or restless. They were in the place their Maker had led them. They trusted Him to provide for their need. They were content and present in their place. So they pecked the ground He’d led them to and received their provision. I was mesmerized by their presence. My eyes went from one to another then one fairly close to the window caught my eye. As I watched him, he seemed to be coming towards me. He hopped a few inches then stopped and looked at me. He came a few inches closer and, once again, looked right at me. I believe time had stopped in that instant and I was literally being shown what it means to “be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:10). I was completely caught up in that moment. He stayed in this position with his gaze fixed on mine. He didn’t seem to be concerned about what the others were doing. It was as if he were the one chosen to personally come to me on this mission from his Creator, to ensure that I knew why they were congregated all over my backyard. The phrase that kept coming to mind was, “you know”. After what seemed like minutes, but I am sure it was only a few seconds, he hopped on and went about his task. It was then I realized what had just taken place. My amazing and loving heavenly Father had sent those beautiful Robins to my backyard to receive their provision and, in the process, show me that He was, He is, and He always will be my Provision as well! A promise Jesus made thousands of years before had just come to life in my backyard!! To say that I was overcome would be an understatement! I sat there, on my little couch, in my little house, in my little town in Alabama, absolutely in awe over how much God relentlessly pursues me! He cared about my restless heart so much that He sent those beautiful Robin’s to remind me of what I already know. He alone is my Peace. He alone is my Strength. He alone is my Refuge. He alone is my Provision! After regaining my composure, I turned my attention, once again, to the backyard. The birds had departed sometime during my praise moment with Jesus and yet, their impact remains. I have thought about them every single day since. God is showing me that even in a season of loss and drastic change, He.does.not.change. He is showing me that He is constantly pouring into my life. He is teaching me to be still and to know what I already know. I have been living in the pain of my past. So much so, I have been missing what is right in front of me. While I am genuinely grateful for this amazing place God has led me to, my outward actions haven’t quite reflected the posture and true desire of my heart. The struggle within me has been to acknowledge the end of my thirty-five-year marriage would somehow erase all of those years from having any meaning whatsoever. That admitting it was over and in my past would cause everything I’ve been through to be for naught. However, realizing those were lies from the enemy to keep me stuck in the pain, I knew I had a choice to make. I could stay right where I was, reliving all that I’ve been through, or I could give my past to Jesus

Downpour Read More »

Surrounded

Leave a Comment / Encouragement, Hope, Relationship, Strength / /

Have you ever felt surrounded?   A few months ago, I listened to a sermon series called Maybe: God. The series centered on how to discern God’s voice from our own thoughts.   Usually, after hearing a series of messages that have impacted me as these have, there will be a time of testing. God will allow a situation to come into my life to test me on what I’ve learned. Not to show Him because He already knows but to show me. What continues to amaze me is when the test comes, I don’t even realize it’s a test until I’m right in the middle of it. This time was no different. You’d think I would have figured out the way God works in my life by now but I haven’t. I don’t think I ever will. “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth so are My ways higher than your way and My thoughts than your thoughts.” ~ Isaiah 55:8-9 ESV I absolutely love this scripture! I will never be able to figure out God’s ways or the mystery or the wonder of Him but that is what is so amazing! It’s His overwhelming, unconditional, and everlasting love and the mystery and the wonder of Him that draws me to Him more and more! The more He works in my life and shows me more of who He is, the more I want to know Him and make Him known! A few weeks ago, I was faced with a decision. One that could have potentially impacted others. I really didn’t know what to do because (I have to admit) I was angry over the situation I was being faced with so, of course, I had my own agenda and a plan for what I expected to happen so there was a battle going on in my mind for control. I knew what my flesh wanted to do. My flesh wanted to fix the issue now but then I was quietly reminded of some key points from the sermon series that went on to jog my memory of a few times in the past when I’d made angry and/or impulsive decisions and doing what I thought was best. Those memories didn’t remind me of good times. So, first of all, I asked God to forgive me then decided to talk to Him about it. It didn’t take Him long to share His thoughts with me. He immediately brought a scripture to my mind and it couldn’t have been more on point. Could He have been more clear?! The reference for this verse is found in Exodus 14. The children of Israel had just been set free from 430 years of bondage in Egypt. They had traveled across the desert towards God’s promised land and between them and their promise stood the Red Sea. Added to the stress as they tried to figure out how to cross the massive body of water, Pharaoh and his Army were in hot pursuit of them. They were surrounded. So what did they do? Did they drop to their knees in prayer and call out to their God, who had just set them free from years of bondage? They did not! Instead, they whined and complained to Moses. (Absolutely no judgment here. I am just like them. I’m guilty of whining and complaining when things don’t go my way sometimes. Probably in much the same way I sounded to God when I started whining through my anger.) So what did Moses tell them? “Fear not…stand firm and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. The LORD will fight for you…you need only to be silent.” ~ Exodus 14:13-14 ESV Has God ever told you to be silent?! I am so thankful for the directness of this passage and how it leapt off the page in my bible and slapped me in the face! I had absolutely no doubt as to what God wanted me to do. He wanted to me to stop whining and be silent. He knows my anxious, controlling, planning self and He needed to be clear. He’s been here with me a few times in my life and He knows how to get my attention. So, in obedience, I chose to remain silent and take my agenda off the table. No more trying to figure things out on my own. No more expectations of what I thought God should do. You’d think after all the amazing things I’ve seen Him do over the past few years, that I’d have learned by now that He is the One who started this work in me and He will be faithful to complete it (Philippians 1:6). But I’m still human and choose my own way sometimes. So, from that point on, I purposed in my heart to wait on Him and be silent. Which was then followed by such an amazing peace and I knew that whatever happened, He was there, and I was okay. Then I picked up my journal and drew out what I felt the Spirit was speaking into my heart. This poor excuse for a drawing is the culmination of several sermons. Essentially, this depicts me walking into unknown territory with the situations in my life surrounding me on either side. To my right, I have things that come with just living life and, regrettably, some are of my own making. These are the slippery/precarious ones. And to my left, are the events from my past. These are the thorny/painful ones. I am surrounded but God is with me in the middle of it all. I am not an artist by ant stretch but somehow, drawing out the words that were flooding my mind helped me to see the situation from a different perspective.

Surrounded Read More »

Just Be

Leave a Comment / Healing, Hope / /

Do you ever find yourself running scenarios through your head for a solution to an issue you’re dealing with, all the while thinking that they MUST be coming from the Spirit because, after all, the ideas sound like they’d work. Right? Do you ever know deep down, the ideas are coming from your own hopes and dreams and aren’t part of God’s plan for you at this moment? If ever? Do you ever secretly hope that God will somehow take your advice and that your ideas and His plan will end up being one-and-the-same? Maybe? Do you ever make an agenda for your life then ask God to bless it, like I do? This is where I have been. Inside my own head. Wishing and hoping for things that no longer exist and will never be again. Why do I do that? Why do we do that? Is it because we like being used, abused, and manipulated for someone else’s own gain? OR Is it because the pain of our new normal is too much to bear and it was easier to live in denial and dysfunction because it was comfortable? After struggling with these, and several other questions, for the past few weeks, I was finally able to quiet my own thinking enough to hear God speaking to my heart. And, by the way, God is speaking all the time…my problem is I’m too busy talking AT Him and telling Him MY agenda that it drowns out His still small voice. When the myriad of thoughts stopped captivating my mind, I heard Him speak to me. Just be because I Am. Just BE because I AM. Five simple words that changed the entire course of my thought process… Just be still. Just be held. Just be ready. Just be willing. Just be surrendered. Just be prayerful. Just be present. Just be comforted. I Am…your Hiding Place… I Am…your Provision… I Am…your Sustainer… I Am…your Confidant… I Am…your Refuge… I Am…your Best Friend… I Am…your Peace… I Am…your Future… I Am…your Helper… I Am…your Healer… Just be because I Am. This way of thinking has completely changed the way I see this new season in my life. It’s been almost a year now since God snatched me away from life as I knew it and started me on this journey of singleness with Him. It hasn’t been an easy road nor has it been without a lot of tears and pain. However, it has been the most blessed time I’ve experienced since giving my heart and my life to Him. Although I do not understand entirely what is happening during this season, nor WHY it is happening, I do know that God orchestrated it especially for me. He knows me better than I know me. He knows I am “MORE than a conqueror through Him” (Romans 8:37). He knows that “all things work together for good for those who are called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28). And, since He chose this season for me to walk through, I will not run from it. I will not ask Him to take it away and I will not take shortcuts. I will walk through this season WITH HIM. Even the times He has to carry me for a little while because “when I am weak, He makes me strong” (2 Corinthians 12:10). Just be because I Am. I will BE present in this pain. I will BE strengthened in this pain. I will BE held in this pain. I will BE comforted in this pain. And I will BE healed from this pain. Not my plans. Not my agenda. Not my ideas. Not my hopes and dreams. Not my myriad of “great” scenarios. I want His plans. I want His agenda. I want His great scenarios for my future. I want whatever He wants for me. Because I am His. Because I am chosen. Just BE. Because I Am. All you need.

Just Be Read More »

We're Grateful You're Here!!

Sign up to receive encouragement in your inbox every time a new writing is posted!!

We don’t spam! Read our privacy policy for more info.